His Eulogy:
We are ga——ed here (mumble mumble) to pay resp ... (mumble mumble) Thomas Me—— born on (mumble mumble) and he was a gre— and had (mumble mumble) and was very devot-— and fought hard to (mumble mumble).
Etc.
Saint Peter’s trying to interview him at the Pearly Gates but can’t find a Mumbles translator.