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While I agree that the current system of child support is in many cases unfair to the men there’s a simple way to re-solve this. Don’t be sticking you long john into every hole in sight.....I’ll bet most everyone on this website knows of someone (either directly or through someone else) who has kids to multiple women of which they are not married. You need a license to drive a car, but no license to make a baby. There’s a lot of irresponsibility out there by men and women.

This is really hard for me to read, because I was a kid under the advent of this system. My mom discovered Kinsey in 1956. By 1960 my parents divorced over infidelity. The child custody battle lasted nine years and consumed two California houses worth of capital. The State broke up my brother and me, dividing us between the two parents. By the time I was 16, we had moved 11 times. In the end, my dad, a municipal bond financing consultant of some import, was a broken human being, divorced three times. Mom made out like a champ, especially after her second divorce, owning her own home and traveling the world on a teacher's pension until she died a few years later. The rest of the family is still a wreck, now 55 years and running.

I left dad's home at 17, penniless and on the streets of Oakland, CA. I count myself lucky, as could easily have wound up dead. I swore then that this would never happen to me. I spent the first ten years of my adulthood grappling with it all. When I finally married at the age of 35, I was extremely careful. Our two kids grew up in the same house they can call "home." The one governing principle of their rearing was 'whatever the leftists think is right, revert to the opposite.' Both girls are now in graduate school. Yet it still isn't over.

There is a reason the Torah specified death for adultery: The effects go on for generations. I am convinced that raising a child in an environment of sexual depravity produces heritable epigenetic traits, effectively they are irreversible without an immense act of will. The consequences all around us, and they will be very difficult if not impossible to reverse.

Having been born into the idyllic California of the 1950s, we never knew the blessings that lifestyle had offered, much less understood the consequences of blowing them off. Conservatives never fully comprehended the stakes in the Culture War; else they would have fought like their lives depended upon victory and nothing less, because they do. The left wants us dead, because we are all that stands between them and total power to please themselves to no end, and to hell with any and every body else. That's what it will be all right.

Yes, child support and custody laws are broken. This is why I don’t have any children. I’ve seen how kids are used by the mothers to control and blackmail the fathers. Not just divorced fathers but fathers that are in the home. Call me weak, but I don’t think I would have the restraint that I have seen from some abused men.

Take my brother, for instance. Great father, great provider. Didn’t get married till later in life. Mother either. They had 3 kids together. She was 35 for the first one and 41 for the last. After the last one was about 3 she decided she wanted to screw her boss. Didn’t really care who found out. Tore the household and kids apart. What could my brother do? Not one damn thing.

But #3 I can REALLY relate to: Kerr tells us this wasn’t his wife’s first assault against him:

She grabbed me and ripped my shirt. Her nails cut my face. I bled. I tried to walk out the door. She blocked the door. I was a gym-every-day, active duty Marine, fearing someone a fraction of my size. If she had a penis I’d have a dozen ways to put her on the ground. Instead, I was left to sneak out a bedroom window and spend the night in a parking lot.

This is a well known pattern, as Web MD notes in their article Help for Battered Men**:

“We tell men if they have to be in an argument, do it in a room with two doors so they can leave; a lot of times a woman will block the door, the man will try to move her, and that will be enough for him to get arrested.”

In the past our family structure was designed to keep families intact. Our new family structure is designed primarily to break them apart.

I’ve slept in the woods in the front seat of a car more times than I can count. Had a shotgun pulled on me. Been threatened with jail for not doing what I was told. Yep, I’ve been there.

I’d say “never again” but unless you never contact a woman with only a single door then it sure can happen again. And hell, that doesn’t really matter. She can just say you threatened her and you are going to jail.

I had a bat guano crazy X; she and her sisters would constantly call the police on me during the divorce always “claiming” the were in fear (never actually making accusations). Its only due to her substance abuse and history that the LEO’s sided with me. My kids live with me in our original home but at a heavy cost of having to absorb all the debt alone and I don’t receive child support. I’m fine with no child support as it does not entitle her to access to my kids (who really don’t like her all that much) and beyond which if she ever tries to go back to court for more alimony I can always pull child support out to augment costs.
But yeah, reading this thread and other’s stories, I can relate to that special kind of stress divorcing fathers have to live with. I finally put up a security system in my home as I was completely stressed out with anxiety waiting for another visit from the local PD for God only knew what.