Condensed version because I really cannot bear talking about her much, yet:
She was a rescue at 6 weeks.
The jerk who had Odin’s daddy called me and said he had a pup in dire straits.
I went to get her and not even 3 miles from his house, we diverted immediately to the vet ER in Winchester.
They gave her virtually no chance of survival, not knowing what was wrong but we gave her a chance.
The bill rapidly escalated.
Many FReepers, to whom I am eternally indebted, offered financial aid and many prayers, which we needed desperately as Obeyme pretty much crashed our home business, which ~had~ always allowed us to easily shoulder vet bills.
A miracle occurred and she lived.
Seven months later, she had an “episode”.
Next thing I knew, we were at vet neuro clinic in Leesburg VA and she got an MRI.
Over 70% of her brain was water.
When I saw the images, the world dropped out from under me and I unashamedly wailed in the vet’s office.
It was SO wrong and so unfair that a dog so loved should be so doomed.
Again, the same [and more] FReepers helped us bear the cost.
Tragically, 22 days after her initial episode, she started to seize and was put down.
To this day, I hate myself for not giving her more chances.
The decision to end her was not mine.
Holding her still for that was singularly the worst 3 minutes of my life, to date.
I relive it often, both awake and more horribly, asleep.
I’ll never forgive myself.
But there are people here that I owe an eternal debt because without their help, we would not have those precious 7 months with her.
She was an extremely special, bright little soul.
Part of me died with her and I can’t seem to get it back or “get over it”.
I’m guessing it might have something to do with having had miscarriages and her being just a baby.
Some deep psychological scars, there.
And, so, I’m out of here for the night as the crying has started again.
And now that Godforsaken dying-dog-Subaru ad is playing.
:’(
Good news is you will get her back and this time nothing like that will ever happen again.
My best Friend Charlie passed away last December, A Great little Shih Tzu that made it to 15 years old, he got sick and was put down a week later.
Greatest little dog in the world, I will ALWAYS miss him.
I feel your pain
Thank you, Salamander, for sharing that with me. Now I am crying too.
Halla was extremely lucky to find you. You, through your efforts with her and your ability to pay her bills and raise money for her bills is what allowed her the time she had here.
And during that time she knew what it is to be loved.
You will see her again. She is waiting for you.
I know what it means to stand before a dog that you love and comfort it as she is sent home.
That is one of the hardest things in this world.
That is also one of the priceless lessons that we can learn from a dog. They teach us how to say goodbye when goodbye is the last thing we ever want to say, and we do this because we love them, and we do not want them to know pain, so we carry it for them instead, and it is a heavy burden.
Now I must go and get a tissue, thank you again Salamander, and thank you for your love of God’s dogs.