There was something called a Health and Welfare Inspection which consisted of lining the troops up outside the barracks while MP’s went through the ranks and the building with drug-sniffing dogs. Prior to sending in the dogs, the troops were told that if they turned in contraband, it would be confiscated, but there would be no repercussions. If the dogs found something, however, there would be criminal charges.
We had a kid from San Francisco, who upon hearing this information, pulled several bags of marijuana out of his left pocket and tossed them on the ground. He pulled several more bags of weed from his right pocket. He pulled more grass from his left rear pocket. He pulled more from his right rear pocket. He opened his left shirt pocket and deposited more marijuana on the ground. He opened his right shirt pocket and deposited yet more bags of weed.
As adjutant, I was standing next to the battalion CO while all this was going on. He had a wicked sense of humor, and a glance at him told me he was on the verge of laughing.
The kid un-bloused his left boot and tossed some more bags of grass on the ground. He un-bloused his right boot and tossed yet more bags on the ground.
I could see that the CO was about to lose it.
Then the kid opened his shirt and tossed bag after bag of marijuana onto the ground, making a pile that was rising to the height of his knees.
Seeing that the CO was about to break up, I tapped him on the arm and motioned him to the side of the building out of sight of the troops. About halfway down the path, he began laughing so hard he bent over double. Tears were rolling down his eyes. I couldn’t help it, and I began to laugh uncontrollably.
I said through my laughter, “He lost a lot of money today.”
The CO was barely able to say through his laughter, “How much of him was human, and how much was grass?”
I remember the “Humor in Uniform” page from the Old Reader’s Digest...
My goodness....they did say give it up and repercussions. But WOW!