The young girl I am homeschooling does not respond well to physical punishment (spank), or to restrictions. She does respond well to physical punishment as in running until I say stop, push ups, side straddle hops, etc. This is very much like one endures in Marine Corps boot camp and there is a stress factor to it.
I have actually had people call the police on me when I do this. I try not to do it in public, but the public shaming has an even bigger effect. When the police show I ask if they endured such punishment in the academy. The answer is always yes. My response is that it is highly unlikely that they were treated in an illegal manner during law enforcement training. If what I do leaves no marks or harms in anyway, other than stressing her, then it is legal. Furthermore, we can address it now or he can deal with her when she is older. They always understand, laugh, and leave.
Her behavior almost immediately changes after incentive training. I think the exercise causes some sort of chemical or hormonal shift. When she was younger, sleeping and eating had similar effects. I had to judge if the behavior was willful disobedience or sleep and food related.
Sometimes when she is having trouble with school work I have her run, but not as a punishment - no stress, just run or ride your bike or walk up the steep hill, often I would go with her. She would always come back and do better. Again, I think there is some sort of physiological change that made her more receptive to work.
I am not saying this is a fix all, just what works with this child. I am pretty certain Mr. and Mrs Manson could have run Chuckie Manson until he coughed up a lung and he still would be what he is.
My technique was not to punish in public, but to clearly indicate to the child that even though he misbehaved in public, he WILL get his payback when at home. And then deliver on the payback when home. Children catch on quite quickly. Then if misbehaving in public again, all it takes is a whisper.
Then you’re not spanking right.
Have you tried a “standing desk”? This works well for students like her. Instead of sitting, the student stands at a tall workspace. She can move around a bit when she gets the fidgets, yet still be within focus distance of her work. We use a bounce band at school for our son. We ordered ours from Amazon and the school gets theirs from a special education sensory distributor. It’s a thick polymer band that goes across the front two rungs of his desk chair. There is a piece of PVC pipe on each leg so that it doesn’t slip down. He puts his feet on it and bounces as much, or as little, as he needs.
A mere 2 ft. by 2 ft. square, taped onto the floor with masking tape. She was required to stand, hands at her sides, silent and still for intervals of 5 minutes to start, the clock reset if she stepped out or said something.
She is older now, and still remembers it.
It worked as a punishment. Afterwards, we would discuss the reasons for being punished and what not to do. She learned, and is a fine young lady to this day.
No two kids are the same.