H3llary’s condom Christmas tree: http://sweetness-light.com/archive/gary-aldrich-on-the-clintons-christmas-tree
In case that page disappears:
Hillary Clinton’s âCondomâ Christmas Tree
Most people have heard the story of the Clintons’ x-rated tree decorations during the Christmas of 1994.
The story originated primarily from Gary Aldrich’s book, Unlimited Access. In some ways it is better and some ways worse than it is commonly remembered.
If you have not had a chance to read Mr. Aldrichâs book, or if you have forgotten the details, here are some of the more relevant excerpts from pp 101-6:
âGood Morning, Mrs. Presidentâ
⦠Just before Decorating Saturday, I ran into some of my old team members from the previous Christmasâ¦
âYou arenât missing anything. You wouldnât believe what theyâre calling âChristmas decorationsâ this year. Itâs unbelievable. In fact, itâs downright disgraceful. Thereâs this one ornament, a clear lucite block, and inside are some old computer parts, and thatâs a Christmas ornament, see?â
My other former team member chimed in, âYeah, itâs true, and thereâs all of this carved dark wood, not resembling much of anythingâjust sticks and twigs tied together. They look like fertility gods or something. We canât tell.â
âYeah, and there are pots, and carvings, some that look kind of obscene, and boxes, but nowhere can we find anything that resembles Christmas. Nowhere.â
âAnd have you seen Bertha?â
Yes, I had seen Berthaâbig, ebony Bertha. Bertha was a statue that Hillary had selected to be placed along the public tour line. About eleven other examples of modern art were in the Jackie Kennedy Garden (the companion garden to the Rose Garden). Bertha was twice life-size and was very naked. In addition, Bertha had enormous buttocks, far out of proportion to the rest of her body.
That is why the permanent White House staff named her Bertha, which was short for âBerthaâs Big Butt.â This is what the first lady considered appropriate for the eyes of the thousands and thousands of visitors who daily toured the White HouseâBerthaâs Big Buttâ¦
Fast forward to one year later. Again I was asked to help decorate White House. I didnât get it. There wasnât much to do. The Clintons didnât like tinselânot one tree had any tinselânor was there any snow, nor did there seem to be much for decorators to doâ¦
Perhaps Hillary didnât trust us. She had, in fact, âhiredâ some volunteers of her own. While in New York, Hillary had seen an office she thought was well-decorated. She ordered the staff to find the decorators and bring them down.
The permanent White House staff wasnât wild about this idea, but, after all, it was the first ladyâs show, and everyone understood that it would be done the way Hillary Clinton wanted it doneâ¦
The GSA, the Park Service, and the Residence maintenance staff had erected all the trees. Some staff were on high ladders, hanging evergreen garlands. We gathered around folding tables to unpack the ornament boxes.
It took about ten seconds to get the first reaction. âWhat in the world?â
Then another. âWhat the hell?â
Then another. âLook at this thing! What is it?â
âHillaryâs ornaments is what!â
From one end of the hall to the other, about forty people were picking up these âthings,â staring at them, turning them around, trying to figure them out or stifle their embarrassed laughter. I turned to one of my team members. âWhat are these things?â
âI heard the theme is The Twelve Days of Christmas, as interpreted by art students from around the country. Hillary sent a letter out just two months ago, really late actually, asking budding artists to send in an interpretation of The Twelve Days of Christmas, and this is what they came up with.â
I couldnât believe what I was looking at. âThis stuff is just childish garbage! We canât hang this stuff on any White House Christmas tree! This is a bad joke.â
âGary, the orders from the First Ladyâs Office are to hang these. Itâs what she wants, so we have to hang them. Anyway, many of them are from âblue ribbonâ art schools, as designated by the Secretary of Education. The whole administration has a stake in this.â
âWell, if this is blue ribbon, then weâre in serious trouble, educationally.â I pulled out one ornament that was five real onion rings (five golden rings) glued to a white styrofoam tray, with a hook attached to the back so it could be hung. But where? Maybe in Clintonâs bedroom so he could rip off a midnight snack?
I was disgusted, but some of it was actually pretty funny.
âGary, come here, look at this!â It was a mobile of twelve lords a-leaping. They were leaping all right. The ornament consisted of tiny clay male figurines. Each was naked and had a large erection. My friend said, âWhoops!â and he dropped it on the floor. Then, âOh, no,â as he stomped on it. He joked, âMan, I hope I donât get in trouble with Hillary for that!â
Some of the ornaments were silly and some were dangerous, like the crack pipes hung on a string. We couldnât figure out what crack pipes had to do with Christmas no matter how hard we tried, so threw them back in the box. Some ornaments were constructed of various drug paraphernalia, like syringes, heroin spoons, or roach clips, which are colorful devices sometimes adorned with bird feather and used to hold marijuana joints.
Two turtle doves became two figurines that had the shells of turtles but the heads of birds; there were many of these. Four calling birds wereâyou guessed itâbirds with a telephone, and there were at two miniature phone booths with four birds inside using the telephone. There was a partridge in a pear, without the treeâa clay pear with a partridge head sticking out of it. Three French hens were French kissing in a menage a trois. So many of the ornaments didnât celebrate Christmas as much at they celebrated sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Several of the birds had dark glasses and were blowing saxophonesâ¦
I went over to one of the tables I hadnât looked at yet. Whatâs this? Of course. Two turtle doves, but they didnât have shells this timeâthey were joined together in an act of bird fornication.
I picked up another ornament that was supposed to illustrate five golden rings. One of the male florist volunteers grabbed my arm and laughed and laughedâ¦
I was holding were sex toys known as âcock ringsââand they had nothing to do with chickens.
Another mystery ornament was the gingerbread man. How did he fit into The Twelve Days of Christmas? Then I got it. There were five small, gold rings I hadnât seen at first: one in his ear, one in his nose, one through his nipple, one through his belly button, and, of course, the ever-popular cock ring.
I couldnât believe the disrespect that these ornaments represented. Many of the artists invited to make and send something to hang on the tree must have had nothing but disgust, hatred, and disrespect for the White House and the citizens of this country, a disgust obviously encouraged by the first lady in the name of artistic freedomâ¦
Here was another five golden rings ornamentâfive gold-wrapped condoms. I threw it in the trash. There were other condom ornaments, some still in the wrapper, some not. Two sets had been âblownâ into balloons and tied to small trees. I wasnât sure what the connection was to The Twelve Days of Christmas. Condoms in a pear tree? â¦
Hillaryâs social secretary, Ann Stock, came down, carefully looked at the tree and its decorations and pronounced it âperfectâ and âdelightful.â â¦
Lovely, no?
So âuplifting.â
This article was posted by Steve on Wednesday, December 19th, 2007. Comments are currently closed.
Thank you! What a great Christmas gift.
[Dubious grin.]
Merry Christmas, and FRegards ....