[Milton Miteybad]

Oh crap!! Who is Racehorse Haynes?

In the 60s and 70s in Texas, he was the criminal defender you wanted to represent you if you couldn't get Percy Foreman. Most of Haynes' high-profile cases (Dr. John Hill, T. Cullen Davis) ended up as the subject of books and movies.

He once illustrated his method of defense (pleading in the alternative) for a dog bite case:

Say you sue me because you say my dog bit you. Well, now this is my defense:

My dog doesn't bite.
And second, in the alternative, my dog was tied up that night.
And third, I don't believe you really got bit.
And fourth, I don't have a dog.

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

The way I heard it was,

Q. Does your dog bite?

A. No, he doesn't bite.

Questioner enters yard where dog is located. Dog attacks and bites.

"Hey, your dog bit me! I thought you said he didn't bite."

A. That's not MY dog.