Vaginas, on the other hand, are a veritable climatological panacea. Ocean levels rising? Never fear, vaginas suck it up like a shop vac. Global warming got you down? Well, help is on the way. Like a refreshing subterranean breeze sent by Gaia from the caves at Lascaux, cosmic vaginal consciousness heals our precious environment via evaporation much like a swamp cooler. Ice age? Wise vaginas become a collective heat pump, cooperatively sharing the warmth in a maternal embrace.