Well, then he should stop running around with a young sexy laptop and settle for a cougar of a computer. This one is definately older than 15 :-)
Posted on 06/02/2017 10:08:08 AM PDT by nickcarraway
The Utah Attorney General's Office said in a court filing that a man suing the state has no constitutional right to marry his laptop computer.
Chris Sevier filed a lawsuit against the state of Utah arguing that he should be allowed to marry his laptop computer, according to Fox 13 Salt Lake City, due to the legalization of same-sex marriage.
The lawsuit, which names Gov. Gary Herbert, Attorney General Sean Reyes, and Utah County Clerk Bryan Thompson, was recently changed to include plaintiffs John Gunter Jr. and Whitney Kohl, who seek the right to enter into a polygamous marriage.
Sevier, who is acting as his own attorney, has filed similar suits outside of Utah. He is barred from practicing law in Tennessee.
"Plaintiffs contend that because the courts have recognized same-sex individuals' right to marry, this Court should further expand the right to marry to include unions between a person and a laptop computer and unions between multiple partners," assistant Utah Attorney General David Wolf wrote in a court filing obtained and published online by Fox 13 Salt Lake City.
"These claims are untenable as a matter of law because Plaintiffs lack standing to bring these claims and the right to marry has not been indefinitely expanded, nor should it be," Wolf wrote. "Simply put, marrying a laptop computer or multiple partners are not rights protected by the Constitution."
The attorney general's office, which is asking a judge to dismiss the suit so it can't be refiled again in the state, said Sevier's argument also fails to take into account that his laptop computer is unable to consent to the union.
"Furthermore, even if that were not the case, unless Sevier's computer has attained the age of fifteen it is too young to marry under Utah law," Wolf wrote.
Do I have the right to be recognized as an A-10? Just like the A-10, my entire purpose is built around my main gun.
Can someone link to the thread about the woman that married a train depot?
Me and my tablet have been in a committed relationship for a while now.
This ruling is just plain rayciss, or something.
The ACLU will soon accuse the Utah Attorney General’s Office of being filled with sexist luddites.
Are you sure his name isn’t Chris Server?-)
You can be an A-10, because I identify as an attack helicopter!
The whackadoodles are in full bloom!
Well, then he should stop running around with a young sexy laptop and settle for a cougar of a computer. This one is definately older than 15 :-)
It might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but that Zenith monochrome 8088 that was so gorgeous in 1987 has not weathered the sands of time well .... I even cheated with a Toshiba 486dx3 a few years in.
Look at the drives on that hottie!!!!!
Yeah, but they were a little floppy .
I’ve been screwed by Microsoft a couple times when using my computer. Does that mean I’m dating them?
Well played.
I do not want to know what he does with the peripheral ports.
The ports remain unchanged.
The plaintiff however has modified himself to be USB compliant
That brings up a whole other issue. We don't know if he is using Male to Female or Male to Male connectors. There could be a case that his laptop is gay.
As soon as polygamy is legal, I’m planning to marry Siri.
“Look at the drives on that hottie!!!!!”
Yeah, they’re 5 1/4” Double D’s. They’re sooo voluptuous! But what’s he going to do for sex? There’s no USB “port!”
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