Global warming also is hurting the unicorn’s favorite food, the skittlebush. As skittles become rare we see more and more pale pastel versions of skittles. The rainbow skittles a unicorn thrives upon are dying out. The only way to save the unicorn is to stop driving cars or using paper. Also no more guns.
Finally!
Finally somebody understands!
Friends, can you find it in your hearts to help unicorns?
Once, our horns were as plentiful as the bad ideas that Jerry Brown comes up with.
Alas! Now, you can count our numbers on the toes of Joy Behar’s feet.
That’s right! There are only 14 of us left!
Send us money! Or bourbon! Or money soaked in bourbon! Or sew some more toes onto Joy Behar. On her head. That fat head could hold millions of toes.