Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

KJV-Only Church Requires Clear Bible Covers To Verify No One Concealing NIV
Babylon Bee ^ | April 3, 2018 | B. Bee

Posted on 04/04/2018 9:48:03 AM PDT by fishtank

click here to read article


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-93 next last
To: Jeff Chandler

Using only your NIV Bible, answer the following 25 questions:

1. Fill in the missing words in Matthew 5:44. “Love your enemies,__________ them that curse you, ______________ to them that hate you, and pray for them that __________ and persecute you.”
2. According to Matthew 17:21, what two things are required to cast out this type of demon?
3. According to Matthew 18:11, why did Jesus come to earth?
4. According to Matthew 27:2, what was Pilate’s first name?
5. In Matthew 27:35, when the wicked soldiers parted His garments, they were fulfilling the words of the prophet. Copy what the prophet said in Matthew 27:35 from the NIV.
6. In Mark 3:15, Jesus gave the apostles power to cast out demons and to: ____________
7. According to Mark 7:16, what does a man need to be able to hear?
8. According to Luke 7:28, what was John? (teacher, prophet, carpenter, etc.). What is his title or last name?
9. In Luke 9:55, what did the disciples not know?
10. In Luke 9:56, what did the Son of man not come to do? According to this verse, what did He come to do?
11. In Luke 22:14, how many apostles were with Jesus?
12. According to Luke 23:38, in what three languages was the superscription written?
13. In Luke 24:42, what did they give Jesus to eat with His fish?
14. John 3:13 is a very important verse, proving the deity of Christ. According to this verse (as Jesus spoke), where is the Son of man?
15. What happened each year as told in John 5:4?
16. In John 7:50, what time of day did Nicodemus come to Jesus?
17. In Acts 8:37, what is the one requirement for baptism?
18. What did Saul ask Jesus in Acts 9:6?
19. Write the name of the man mentioned in Acts 15:34.
20. Study Acts 24:6-8. What would the Jew have done with Paul? What was the chief captain’s name? What did the chief captain command?
21. Copy Romans 16:24 word for word from the NIV.
22. First Timothy 3:16 is perhaps the greatest verse in the New Testament concerning the deity of Christ. In this verse, who was manifested in the flesh?
23. In the second part of First Peter 4:14, how do [they] speak of Christ? And, what do we Christians do?
24. Who are the three Persons of the Trinity in First John 5:7?
25. Revelation 1:11 is another very important verse that proves the deity of Christ. In the first part of this verse Jesus said, “I am the A______________ and O___________, the _________ and the _______:”

Now, open up your King James Version, and you can, now, answer, these 25 questions.


21 posted on 04/04/2018 10:19:32 AM PDT by captaincaveman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: fishtank

Funny. Next thing you know they will say that Jesus didn’t speak English..just sayin’.


22 posted on 04/04/2018 10:19:53 AM PDT by richardtavor
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RegulatorCountry
I do not know Hebrew myself, but the Bible in that language is also poetic in nature.

The Strongs Dictionary is a huge help for understanding. And as I understand things, the KJV is 99 percent accurate in terms of translating the original, aside of course from “unicorn” (for wild bull; Psalm 92:10), “dragon” (for jackal; Malachi 1:3 and others), “cockatrice” (for viper; Isaiah 59:5) and suchlike.
23 posted on 04/04/2018 10:23:32 AM PDT by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: robroys woman

If you subscribe to “KJVO” I have a simple question: Which version of the KJV do you use? See, that’s why we have people who are “1611 KJVO”.

But what version of the Bible do you use if you don’t speak English? That’s why we have this statement: “The KJV Bible is the inspired word of God for the English speaking people.” That precludes using Greek and Hebrew manuscripts if you speak English.


24 posted on 04/04/2018 10:24:19 AM PDT by FreedomNotSafety
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: RegulatorCountry
The KJV to me is beautiful, sheer poetry.

I like the KJV for formal readings of scripture, such as weddings. Almost everyone memorizes or reads the 23rd psalm in the KJV. However, I think people who are studying the Bible need to use something else. The Bible is difficult enough for many to understand without grappling with English from the time of Shakespeare. I have many different versions and like to compare them.

25 posted on 04/04/2018 10:25:30 AM PDT by Sans-Culotte (Time to get the US out of the UN and the UN out of the US!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: RegulatorCountry

Scratch the surface of anyone mocking “KJV Onlyism” and you’ll find they’re shilling their own “onlyism.”


Actually, my point was exactly the opposite of that.

I was having a converstaion regarding some of the religious dogmatism I’ve come across in the rural bible belt (In a southern gospel band I’m exposed to the teaching and conversations in a LOT of the small various baptist sects down here). The guy I was having a conversation with was the music director in a large church in Louisville. He said his experience, since attending this large church with a lot of members that are professors at a nearby Christian college is as follows: Regarding peripheral Christian doctrines and teachings, he’s found that the more someone knows of the history and bible teaching on the subject, the less “married” they are to their opinion.

He nailed the experience I’ve had in those little churches, some quite vividly negative. It’s like arguing gun control with David Hogg.


26 posted on 04/04/2018 10:31:04 AM PDT by robroys woman (So you're not confused, I'm using my wife's account.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: RegulatorCountry

The KJV to me is beautiful, sheer poetry. If there are those who struggle with the ornate and sometimes difficult language that’s verging upon archaic, well, there are other perfectly fine translations in more modern English. But, to me they fall flat.


I don’t see the poetry but, to be fair, I’m no fan of Shakespeare either. Give me West Side Story any day. :)

I prefer the “modern English” versions for the same reason a German would prefer a German language version. It’s the language I know. I don’t have to add another layer of difficulty when attempting to understand what I’m reading. I’m not a fan of making things intentionally difficult.


27 posted on 04/04/2018 10:33:54 AM PDT by robroys woman (So you're not confused, I'm using my wife's account.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: fishtank

As someone raised on NASB (New American Standard Bible), I find amusing these little wars about the “official” Bible.

We have copies of the Hebrew and Greek texts from which the English-language Bible was formed and have seen 1st Century scripts that verify other texts with amazing fidelity (not complete fidelity but close enough as to assure the authenticity) and there are many scholars trained in these languages so as to understand the nuances of certain words and phrases.

The KJV is the “handed down” version from centuries of churches before there was a printing press. The NASB attempts to be verbatim to what is said in the Hebrew and Greek scripts. The NIV is an attempt to reconstruct the Bible into more spoken-English sentences so as to improve comprehension.

All three are valid in their own way and newer ones also attempt to keep up with the evolving English language. But if you’re ever unsure what a verse means, the best thing to do is look it up in a book that breaks down the Hebrew or Greek word by word and translates those words into English which none of these versions do because the sentence structures are not like English.


28 posted on 04/04/2018 10:34:34 AM PDT by OrangeHoof (CNN has covered nothing this week except Stormy Daniels and Trump's poll numbers rose 7 points.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FreedomNotSafety

What’s interesting is that the KJV is not the last translation, nor is it the first. It is, in the great scheme of things, simply one of many translations. I simply can’t understand KJV worship. It’s not the best version for me. It’s not the worst version. It is useful as are most versions.

For me it’s really not about which version of the bible anyway. It’s about my relationship with Him. The bible is good for improving that relationship, but I can do that even with a JW “Green” version if it’s all I have at my disposal.


29 posted on 04/04/2018 10:36:30 AM PDT by robroys woman (So you're not confused, I'm using my wife's account.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: robroys woman

KJV language is just too much to slog through when you’re reading it in bed at the end of a long day.


30 posted on 04/04/2018 10:42:42 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Responsibility2nd
~ Why Oh God Did You Create Dogs??? ~ "

Hai_zpsd8189344


31 posted on 04/04/2018 10:44:09 AM PDT by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Disambiguator

NIV - Nasty Infidels Version


32 posted on 04/04/2018 10:48:15 AM PDT by Pilgrim's Progress (http://www.baptistbiblebelievers.com/BYTOPICS/tabid/335/Default.aspx D)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: robroys woman

So long as they’re not veering outside of scripture I have no problem with people feeling strongly one way or the other. Sometimes, strongly rejecting what might appear narrow to you at the time will prove to have limited your understanding. There’s always Strong’s or online with Bible Gateway. It’s impossible to capture every shade of meaning particularly with Aramaic or Hebrew which are in many ways radically different languages than English. Some translations are elegant and artful, prime example being the King James. Some translations are plodding and workmanlike. Provided they’re as true as possible to the original there’s no problem with that as far as I’m concerned, everyone responds in their own manner. Glaring error is another matter. The KJV has a few but they’re relatively minor and theologically unimportant.


33 posted on 04/04/2018 10:48:32 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Buckeye McFrog

KJV language is just too much to slog through when you’re reading it in bed at the end of a long day.


I also listen a lot on my 3 hour round trip commute. I tried a KJV and just got tired of hitting the rewind button.

A related story: One day in our old “KJVO” church, the pastor read a particularly confusing KJV verse and tried to explain what it actually meant in modern english. My wife had her NIV open at the time. His explanation quoted word-for-word what her NIV said.

I don’t like having to translate while reading. It’s like trying to read an Italian bible after you’ve had one year of high school Italian. There really is no point, when you can get it in English.


34 posted on 04/04/2018 10:53:53 AM PDT by robroys woman (So you're not confused, I'm using my wife's account.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: RegulatorCountry

I mostly agree. What really turned me around was using online lexicons from biblehub and blueletterbible. If a verse confuses me, or I believe it can be used to support a particular doctrine, I go to the lexicons to drill in to what was actually written.


35 posted on 04/04/2018 10:55:28 AM PDT by robroys woman (So you're not confused, I'm using my wife's account.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: robroys woman

If I really want to get to the original meaning it’s Strong’s concordance, Vine’s Expository Dictionary and then I’ll hit Matthew Henry, who I feel has never been surpassed.

If I don’t understand the Greek or Hebrew I can’t claim to know what it really says.


36 posted on 04/04/2018 10:57:15 AM PDT by RedStateRocker (Nuke Mecca, deport all illegals, abolish the DEA, IRS and ATF.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: robroys woman

Over time you’ll find yourself familiar with those shades of meaning to the point of rote knowledge, then those verses that arise in your mind unbidden will really begin to be pertinent. Context shades the meaning to the point that it’s rather startling, never having viewed a particular passage in that manner before. That book really is alive, I know some think that sounds nuts but it is.


37 posted on 04/04/2018 10:58:54 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: RedStateRocker

If I don’t understand the Greek or Hebrew I can’t claim to know what it really says.


Yep. And there’s the rub.

I have an acquaintance that was getting her degree in Hebrew and Koine Greek, and I asked, which version of the bible is the best to fully understand the word of God.

She said pretty much what you said in that sentence.

Which is why I rely on prayer and I use the word for “teaching” rather than claim my bible is “the” word of God. I believe it contains the words of men inspired by God. It is the Quran and book of Mormon that claim to be the actual word of God, recited to a man who then simply wrote down what God said.

Christianity is a “spirit of the law” faith rather than a “letter of the law” faith.


38 posted on 04/04/2018 11:03:45 AM PDT by robroys woman (So you're not confused, I'm using my wife's account.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: robroys woman
I figure that the Lord used Greek because it is the perfect language for expressing theological and philosophical ideas. I mean we have just the word "Love", where Greek has Agápe (ἀγάπη agape Éros (ἔρως érōs) and Philia (φιλία philía "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth" is my motto...
39 posted on 04/04/2018 11:15:59 AM PDT by RedStateRocker (Nuke Mecca, deport all illegals, abolish the DEA, IRS and ATF.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: captaincaveman
That quiz is as dumb as it is commonly published.

It's assuming from the getgo that the King James Version is THE standard baseline for all translations.

There has been much more scholarship of the Bible since 1611. More accurate understanding and transliteration of language and grammar. Not to mention that the KJV is based in large part on the work of Erasmus: a brilliant mind who unfortunately performed a sloppy job in assembling the Textus Receptus (he was trying to win a contest).

No modern translation would have gotten away with it if there had been any substantial omission of scripture.

And also, language is NEVER a static thing. English has changed in just the past twenty or thirty years even. If I asked you to "burn a CD" in 1988 you would be thinking I was loony for wanting to throw a certificate of deposit into the wood stove. And that's just one example. How much more has the English language evolved since 1611?

There will never be a perfect translation of the Bible in any language, absent the original autographs to draw from. All we can do is our best at pursuing the Word of God, to never stop pursuing, and to let Him bring harvest to the labor.

40 posted on 04/04/2018 11:21:06 AM PDT by Ciaphas Cain (Progressives are turning America into "Harrison Bergeron" if conceived by Ayn Rand.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-93 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson