We’d like a sample of your dog’s DNA for poop purposes

Hot Air.com ^ | May 9, 2019 | JAZZ SHAW

[Right Wing Assault]

Don’t stop at dogs.. get cats to submit samples too.

Oh yeah on cats! In the summer I leave my large shed/workshop 2-car door open a lot because I am in and out a lot and to cool it off a bit. The cats climb up onto the plywood floor above the ceiling joists and poop all over the place when I'm not inside. It's disgusting. Also, they poop under an overhanging part on our house. Maybe they are feral, but whose fault is that?

*** Also, how are the poor people going to afford plastic bags to put the poop from their 5 dogs?

[Right Wing Assault]

Oops, they are going to get free bags, of course.

[piasa]

Sounds more like raccoons than cats

[jospehm20]

We had a secret pooper in a unit I was in back in 2001. My suggestion was to DNA test the turds.

[Chickensoup]

Sometimes on the way home I have to manage 3 Shepherds, 6 bags of sh!t, a big red plastic football and a ball thrower, and a bottle of water.

____________

I have never loved anything that much...

[Chickensoup]

Wonderful picture of an english shepherd.

We lost ours in feb.

He pooped in the woods.

Like a good boy.

[bgill]

Borrow your friend’s snickerpoodle to be tested then bring home your real snickerpoodle.

[bgill]

Was the large present left by the dog or the neighbor. Inquiring minds want to know how they prove it.

[sparklite2]

Having unwillingly smelled many samples of canine effluent over the course of decades, I find the human counter-part has a much richer bouquet, possibly because of the difference in diet.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to cleanse my pallet over the kitty litter box.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

That EVIL Trump had better NOT separate the puppies from the Mama dogs, either!

Or put ANY of them in kennels, even IF it keeps them away from the tattooed MS13 Pitt Bulls!

*SMIRK*

The jokes just write themselves when LefTards are involved, don’t they? ;)

[chris37]

I love them even more than that.

But I wish I had another arm.

Three dogs and two arms is a big problem.

[Paladin2]

Nan’s San Fran should take up technique for their ferals.

[Paladin2]

It’s free organic fertilizer.

[killermosquito]

I think we both live in the same area of NC. Without dogs going on my lawn it would still be a beach. Dogs are welcome on my lawn.

[zaxtres]

Look you left a large present on this thread.

[zaxtres]

It’s free organic fertilizer.

Not in that form it is not.

[usconservative]

A year ago I downsized from a large home to a smaller home where I gave up a half acre of property, about 1,00sf of living space and moved into a townhome. Just the dog and I at that point, the dog passed shortly after I moved in.

Anyway, someone was letting their dog poop off my deck in a common area where dogs were not permitted. I complained to the HoA to enforce the rules. Learned quickly the HoA was powerless and they simply blamed my immediate next door neighbor who has two medium sized dogs.

I know my neighbor well, her dogs are fantastic and she struck me as being a responsible dog owner. Whenever I saw her out with her animals, she was walking them in the area designated for them and I'd routinely seen her picking up her dogs poop. So I knew it wasn't her.

I'm a pretty creative problem solving kind of guy so I went to the local Menards (where you always save big money!) and purchased a metal sign for a whopping $1.99 like this one:

I then took an old wifi webcam and clear taped it on the inside of my patio door - pointing it right at the area where the poop was and turned on 24x7 recording on my laptop.

It didn't take but two days for the dog owner responsible to show themselves. The neighbor living about 70 yards directly to the north of me was the culprit. Their large golden retriever was being let out their patio door, ran straight over to my area and took a dump. Afterwards, the dog ran back across the way and went back inside.

The very next day I went to the HoA presidents home with my laptop and video. Showed it to him.

Neighbor was fined $100 and they were directed to clean up the dog waste in front of my townhome. Failure to do so would result in another $250 fine.

So for a $1.99 sign and an old webcam and some tape - problem solved. No more dog poop in my area.

That sign and video was the talk of the board meeting last week. Magically the "rogue dog poop" problem in my space and others has stopped. Initially I got complaints from the HoA about the sign. Technically signs in general aren't allowed. I however had the Illinois Statute handy that says whenever an area is under video surveillance, a sign must be posted indicating such. So I informed the board the sign stays and they needed to fix their rule on signs. When I received those complaints I figured whoever was letting their dog(s) run loose were the ones complaining and frankly, I told the HoA if they couldn't enforce the rules, I would - and did.

I love dogs, believe there's no such thing as a bad dog - just bad owners. (Miss my Teddy too. Been almost a year since I lost him.)

[usconservative]

I love them even more than that. But I wish I had another arm. Three dogs and two arms is a big problem.

You are richly blessed to have such a problem! Lucky dogs.

[Does so]

Three dachshunds carry better, but I wouldn’t want to carry them very far.

Our neighborhood trashman refused to empty garage cans with dog poo in them. NOW, there’s a real problem!