Posted on 01/19/2020 5:55:28 AM PST by Kaslin
Rachel weeps. That biblical mother weeping for her children is all I could think of when I heard that a California woman named Michelle Reaves had died in childbirth. She had been serving for the second time as a surrogate for a family. And while the baby was born, Reaves, a wife and mother of two, did not survive.
Meanwhile, Lady Gaga has reportedly declared her desire to become a mother by adoption or surrogacy -- a story that generated far more buzz than the tragic death of Reaves. Of course, adoption and surrogacy are very different things. In adoption, you are really placing the needs of a child above your own. In surrogacy, you are having your desires met in a way that we really haven't fully considered ethically, morally or medically. Just because it can be done, should it be?
Jennifer Lahl, a nurse who is the founder and president of the Center for Bioethics and Culture Network, told me that that there are targeted internet ads offering $85,000 to California women to be a surrogate. You can imagine the temptation for a woman in need, believing that she can give the gift of life to another, when, in fact, she may just be getting exploited. The inability to have a child the old-fashioned way can be the deepest heartache of one's life, of a couple's life, together. No one is denying that. But reproductive technology has become an industry, and who has protection of all human lives in view in the transaction?
Lahl recently worked with feminist Gloria Steinem to help educate people about the dangers of surrogacy. Being a surrogate can be risky, more risky than natural pregnancy, because of all the foreign elements being introduced into the body. It's all quite new, but when a woman is being offered significant amounts of money, she is likely to overlook the dangers, which may be being downplayed to her anyway.
Reaves' death deserves to be a major news story. Especially considering that just days ago, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo urged that a ban on surrogacy in his state be repealed, saying in his State of the State address: "New York's surrogacy ban is based in fear, not love, and it's past time we updated our antiquated laws to help LGBTQ couples and people struggling with fertility use commonplace reproductive technology to start families."
In a June letter to Cuomo, Steinem and others said: "Our opposition to this bill emerges from our conviction that the legalization of commercial surrogacy contracts in New York state will undermine women's control over their bodies, thwart women's reproductive rights, render women vulnerable to reproductive trafficking and exploitation and further subordinate and harm women, especially those who are economically disadvantaged, in our state."
As Ed Mechmann, a lawyer and the director of public policy for the Archdiocese of New York, notes: "The standard surrogacy contracts impose all sorts of obligations on the 'carrier,' and there is a severe penalty if she doesn't comply -- if she violates any provision, she forfeits any payment under the agreement and has to reimburse the 'parents' for any of their expenses. This could entail tens of thousands of dollars in penalties and lost income. How is it 'progressive' to treat women this way?"
If we really want to be progressive, why don't we make adoption and foster care priorities? I'd love for a leader in American politics to do that today, how about you? Many an American heart is longing for someone who could bring two sides of a contentious debate together for the common good. Surrogacy is dangerous territory, and there are children out there whose lives would be saved by adoption. Can we talk about this before we plunge deeper into treating life -- and women's wombs -- as a commodity?
Maybe there is a reason that some women can not have children, and it does not have anything to do with the husband
My doctor told me that some women have so much trouble getting pregnant and giving birth that he is convinced that they just shouldn’t have a baby. He said that I, on the other hand, got pregnant and gave birth so easily, should have babies for these other women! Ours were all early, over a week early, yet all were 7 lb 6 oz to 8 lb 2 oz. Fully formed. I asked what if they had been past due. He told me that I could EASILY have a 10 or 12 lb baby. My body was just built for giving birth. I had our daughter in just 49 MINUTES from start to end. He said I would have made a great pioneer woman. Now this could be true, but my grandmother had 10 babies and bled to death after the last one, refused to go to a hospital. That was in about 1932.
I offered to be a surrogate for my sister. She was going through all kinds of surgeries and treatments to try to have a baby. By the time she gave up on having her own child I was too old to want to be a surrogate. I might have been one of the negative statistics, and I had 3 kids to raise at that time. That was in the early 1990s.
This woman had two children of her own, and this was her second time as a surrogate for her friend. Probably no one expected any complications. Such a sad story.
I disagree that Lady Gaga’s adopting a baby would be “putting the child’s needs ahead of her own.” It would be buying a toy. If she really wants to help a child who needs a family, she could use a little (or a lot) of her enormous wealth to cover the costs of adoption for married couples who could provide a stable and secure home for a child.
I do not believe surrogacy should be allowed, but if is, it definitely should NOT be allowed for UNMARRIED people. Adoption is a whole other issue.
Every child deserves his/her biological parents to raise them.
Any deliberate! action which denies the child that right is to be hated and forbidden.
We are not objects to be manipulated. We are persons to be respected even by ourselves.
Cuomo The Leftist Scumbag: “...help LGBTQ couples...”
They shouldn’t be allowed near any children.
Amen to that! Thank you for your post.
I know, I read it. That is true, a sad story. My grandma had 10 kids and only after the last one did she die of complications. That was sad.
I don’t agree that biological parents are always the best parents to raise a child. My mother never wanted children and she especially didn’t want me. Another girl born in cold winter time. She never missed a chance to tell me she never wanted me in the first place. I think being adopted might have worked well for me. Just thankful she didn’t abort me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was 93 yesterday and she is like hugging a cactus.
That is sad, what happened to your grandma. :-( Sorry to hear that.
Lovely story and true. My point is about kids. You deserved
a happy bio family and your mom had a duty to try to give it to you
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