“So the elites are more “tolerant” than the working class ideologically, but they are much more conservative about how they plan to live.”
That is very true. The vast majority of successful, so called “liberals” live by very conservative values in their private lives, but in their public pronouncements and voting habits they espouse almost opposite values.
I think most of that has to do with the fact that the propaganda that they choose to immerse themselves in has burdened them with a heavy load of white guilt and they relieve themselves of that guilt by voting liberal and virtue signaling to their friends and acquaintances.
Or they act as Balaam, encouraging their “lessers” to live debauched lives knowing that their lessers, thus abandoned by God, will then be dependent on and easily controlled by such evil people.