After a promising young black man working on our production floor was murdered at two am in the parking lot of a bar, I had some discussions with his compatriots. Yes, they knew that playing pool in a black neighborhood bar at two am was dangerous. Their responses roughly boiled down to this
“But, what ya’ gonna do, man? You expected to do certain things, to show yourself, ya’ know? You can’t just go an hide somewhere. You got to be out there where the action is.”
This was a smart young man. Show him something once and, not only did he understand what you showed him, but many of the things that were simply implied. Yet, he was part of a self destructive culture where beating your chest and taking on all comers was a requirement. Think of an unfixed tomcat. He’s a wonderful pet, but he’ll occasionally come home with one eye hanging out of its socket. And, to him, that’s just the way it is.
Thank you for posting that perspective. The “you are expected to do certain things” applies to all cultures. In fact, it is what makes a culture. Peer pressure is powerful and cannot be ignored.
And yes, I had a cat like that, once.
I think of a gorilla that beats his chest in a show of menace! The expectation of a culture is deadly....so tragic for so many. Life expectancy is directly proportional to the culture.