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Well, my daddy left home
When I was three
And he didn't leave very much to my ma and me
Except this ole fiefdom and
A war that I didn't dare lose
Now I don't blame him
'Cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that my daddy ever did
Was before he left he went and
Named me Tzu
He musta thought
That it was quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from lots a folks
Seems I had to fight my whole life through
Some warlord giggled and I'd turn red
And some king'd laugh and I'd leave him dead
I'll tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Tzu
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean
My heart got hard and my wits got keen
Conquered town to town
To spread my fame
But I made me a vow to the moon and stars
I'd conquer provinces with wars
And kill that man that gave
Me that awful name
Well, it was Wuhan town in mid-July
And I'd taken the town and my throat was dry
I thought I'd stop and demand some fresh bat stew
At a live market on a street of mud
There at a table killin' cats
Sat the dirty, mangy rat that named me Tzu
Well I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn out picture that my mother had
Knew that scar on
His cheek and his evil eye
He was big and bent and grey and old
And I looked at him and my
Blood ran cold, and I said
"My name is Tzu! How do you do?
Now you gonna die!"
Well, the men all gasped
With astonished eyes
And he bowed down but to my surprise
Came up with a knife and
Cut off a piece of my ear
Then I ordered a lieutenant to pull out his teeth
And he crashed through
The wall and into the street
Kickin' like Bruce Lee in the mud
And the bats and the cats
Well I tell ya, I broke tougher men
But I really can't remember when
He slid like a snake and
The men lost him for a while
I heard him laugh and
Then I heard him cuss
That lieutenant had to grab him
Right now or bust
He stood there lookin' at me and
I saw him smile
And he said
"Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it
He's gotta be tough
And I know I wouldn't be
There to help you along
So I gave you that name
And I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's that name that helped
To make you strong."
He said, "Now you just led
One heck of a fight
And I know you hate me
And ya got the right
To kill me now and I wouldn't
Blame you if you do
But you oughta thank me before I die
For the strategic thought
And the Bok Mei Pai
'Cause I'm the most high Sun and a lord
That named you Tzu."
Yeah, what could I do?
I got all choked up and threw down my sword
Called him my pa and he called me his lord
And I came away with a
Different point of view
And I think about him now and then
Every time I try and every time I win
And if I ever have a boy
I'll name him
Di or Ming or Ching
Any dam thing but Tzu!
I still
Hate that name