I am a flawed person. I know that. I can be stubborn, irrational, temperamental, emotional, flat out wrong, judgmental and even discriminatory.
That is just who I am.
But I know all these things, and I have battled them nearly every single bloody day of my life. I try. I try hard. And I fail.
But when I do wrong, I pick myself up, dust myself off, try to right any wrong I have done, and try harder not to repeat it in the future.
I do this nearly every day with the love of my life. And I often fail, repeating the same damned mistakes.
Sigh.
I wish I were one of those people who learn a lesson from a failure and never repeat it, but...I am not. I often repeat mistakes multiple times and have to learn the hard way. I hate it.
But I try. I feel like I spend an embarrassingly lot of time apologizing to people for any number of errors and flaws, and trying to make it up to people.
Damn.
I cannot help but admire people who don’t have to endure this stupid cycle, but...I guess at my age, I won’t do much better and have to get by. The fact that I can generally maintain good relationships with people both personal and professional, and they appear to hold me in high esteem in spite of my apparent flaws is some proof to me that I am not totally making a dog’s breakfast of everything. I wish I could do things right the first time and cut out the nonsense.
LOL!
I’ve never met anyone who didn’t have to ‘endure the stupid cycle’.
We’re all stubborn and slow to learn.
Fortunately, God has given us Life, and plenty of time to practice getting it all right.