It shouldn't be that way regarding paint colors. Usually the original developer has a selection of a dozen or fewer paint colors for doors, siding and shutters, and a formula for how often they repeat in, say, a townhome community. A single change to that formula (such as the original paint company discontinuing a color) should be reassigned to a similar color from another supplier. An overall change to the color scheme should have to go through a proposal to the entire community and a sizeable majority vote.
You’re right, it should be that way but it turns out that way at least in my experience dealing with one.
For example, a neighbor got denied a garden flag the size of a license plate for their yard, other neighbors were allowed to put up signs about dogs pooping on their yards which were rules okay by the ARB.
Another neighbor got denied a trellis for the front of their house even though they got approval for a fence to protect their vegetable garden.
It’s all petty BS that is at the root of all the problems.