Posted on 09/13/2001 1:55:57 PM PDT by madprof98
DEAR ABBY: At our Halloween party last year, which included both parents and children, my brother and I somewhat jokingly debated the two presidential candidates. My brother was for Bush. I was for Gore.
Sometime during the evening, my then 11-year-old daughter asked me why her uncle was for Bush and I was for Gore. I explained why I was for Gore and gave her four or five reasons. She asked again why her uncle was for Bush. I told her to go ask him.
During the merriment of the evening, I forgot about the subject until we were on the way home and my daughter asked me how I could think that killing a little baby was OK. I was speechless! I asked her where she had gotten such an idea. She said her uncle had told her that Gore thought it was OK to kill babies, and if I was voting for him, so did I. I tried to explain about a woman's right to choose -- and that I DO think a woman should have that choice, but I was so shocked I hardly knew how to defend myself.
It has been nearly a year now. Ever since that night my daughter has been very distant toward me. I have tried to talk to her about it several times, but she refuses to discuss it.
I'm at my wit's end. My daughter is now 12 and our closeness has been destroyed. I found out her class made Mother's Day cards, but my daughter never gave hers to me. There are no more hugs and kisses at bedtime -- just "good night."
What can I do? I love my daughter with all my heart. I'd give anything to have her the way she was before.
-- DESTROYED MOTHER IN DALLAS
DEAR DESTROYED MOTHER: Sit your daughter down and tell her that the subject of a woman's right to choose is a controversial one, and that it is OK if she disagrees with you about it. It's a topic about which everyone has to make up her (or his) own mind. Her uncle thinks the way he does, and you love him in spite of it.
Explain that you are not in favor of killing babies, but that you feel it is important for a woman to have the right to choose. Some women's lives have been saved because they were legally empowered to make that choice. It wasn't always the case.
Tell her that as she grows older, you want her to examine her reasons for feeling the way she does about this subject -- but you also want her to be open to different points of view, because there are more than one, and people have a right to their own opinions. It may not heal the breach your brother has caused, but it's a beginning.
And finally, I urge you to talk to your daughter's uncle about this entire situation. He could help a great deal by reinforcing what you have said -- and he should. He was out of line from the beginning for having given your daughter his inflammatory answer to her question.
And as for inflammatory answer to her question, how about an "inflammatory question"? I've popped this on people who present abortion as an option to be take with no more thought than what to have for breakfast:
How would you feel if your mother had chosen to abort YOU?
It's worth bothering about because it is so exceptionally frank:
"She said her uncle had told her that Gore thought it was OK to kill babies, and if I was voting for him, so did I. I tried to explain about a woman's right to choose -- and that I DO think a woman should have that choice, but I was so shocked I hardly knew how to defend myself."
Mom is stuttering all over herself telling her daughter that she does think it's okay to kill babies. The brutality of "choice" is exposed for what it is, and that rarely happens in the press. I can't believe the column made it into print!
Thanks, madprof, for posting this.
Explain that you are not in favor of killing babies, but that you feel it is important for a woman to have the right to choose to kill a baby. Some women's lives have been saved because they were legally empowered to make that choiceto kill a baby with a doctor's help. It wasn't always the case. It used to be such acts were done under cover of darkness because they were considered shamefull.
Tell her that as she grows older, you want her to examine her reasons for feeling the way she does about this subject -- but you also want her to be open to different points of view, because there are more than one, and people have a right to their own opinions. It may not heal the breach your brother has caused, but it's a beginning.
And finally, I urge you to talk to your daughter's uncle about this entire situation. He could help a great deal by reinforcing what you have said -- and he should. He was out of line from the beginning for having given your daughter his inflammatory strait answer to her question.
Ask ANY 10 or 11 year old if they think it's ok for a mother to kill her baby in her belly, and you'll get the same reaction.
Dear Mother: Just say to your daughter "Is this any way to show your gratitude for not killing you when I could?" That ought to smooth things over.
Your analogy is seriously flawed. Bush doesn't hate women and want them to be oppressed by men, so anyone telling your 11 yr. old would be lying.
The uncle in this story told the truth. Gore favors killing babies. Pro-abortion people can argue "the woman's right to choose" all that they want. What they are arguing for is the right to kill babies. It can't be sugarcoated.
By the way, the woman's daughter may just be in shock from learning how close she came to being sucked down a sink.
I didn't think it was real until I checked the LINK and there it was....right under Abby's smiling face.
I've known for a long time that Abby is pro-abortion but this column isn't of the usual sort. It's far too honest.
Yes, she is.
Excuse me? She told her daughter to ask him! People generally have strong feelings about their politics; what else could he have done?
Gee Mom, too bad your little girl feels distant from you because of your position that it is OK for women to choose to kill their own babies! I can only guess that someone else gave her some moral values.
Explain that you are not in favor of killing babies, but that you feel it is important for a woman to have the right to choose [i.e. to have their babies butchered].
Dan
How would the situation be reversed in your analogy? In your little scenario the 11 yr. old is being told an outright lie. This suggests that you believe the girl's uncle told her a lie. Care to explain yourself? Maybe you're not as pro-life as you claim to be.
Dear Abby: let's not deal in incomplete sentences, shall we? Let's fix what you had to say here so that we know what we're talking about:
"Explain that you are not in favor of killing babies, but that you feel it is important for a woman to have the right to choose whether or not she can kill her baby."
Just so long as we're all clear on what that choice is about.
Of course, all women throughout history have always had, and will always have, that choice. What the argument is about is whether or not we can let lawyers and lawmakers set things up in such a way that there are no legal consequences when making a choice to kill a baby, and thereby attempt to convince ourselves that we should feel no pangs of conscience when the choice to kill a baby is made.
But then, that's probably why you prefer to deal with incomplete sentences is these matters: so we don't have to face up to what the choice is about.
What's to talk about, Lady.
You brought the kid up to be a thinking person.
The kid now realizes, in spite of your convoluted reasoning, you're essentially a murderer.
She *apparently* disapproves.
Questions?
The child is lucky to be alive....considering that her mother might have chosen to kill her in the womb. Maybe the 11 year old wonders if some of her unknown siblings met this particularly gruesome fate.
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