Ick. Is that pearls x42's hag is wearing?
Faux pearls, no doubt. Mustn't upset the oysters! (But wiping out 6,000 U.S. citizens is okay; at least, we cannot retaliate, because naturally "Terrorists are people too.")
/sarcasm
Plastic and paint.
I've heard of "pearls before swine" but never "pearls ON swine".