Regarding an "elderly woman" not being able to handle the recoil of a self-defense handgun such as a .38 Special, I have trained elderly women and have not found this to be the case. Certainly, it is less punishing than being bludgeoned and raped! Regarding their marksmanship, such encounters normally happen within 10 feet, so that is not really a problem. If you will look back, all my comments were framed in the context of "sufficient training."
It is critical to understand the issue of "disparity of force" in this context. In a confrontation where both are unarmed and the male has the intent to kill and/or rape, a 110 pound woman has a 90% chance of suffering death or great bodily harm when confronting a 220 pound man. If she has a firearm, that drops to about 5%. Even if they both have a firearm, she at least has a 50/50 chance -- higher if she can position herself and he agresses upon her position. Would you want your mother, sister, or daughter to have the option of using a firearm or not?
Regarding the police, etc., that's interesting. They really are not armed for "self protection," per se. and their rules of engagement are very different from the elderly lady. They may be required to struggle with a perp rather than just drawing down on him, or there might be situations where they are legally and civilly required to shoot, which is never the case with a civilian. Besides, here in the South, the police and security people are usually held to a much lower standard of training than the rest of us hold ourselves to!!!
By the way, I like your name -- "From this day on, I own my father's gun..."