Posted on 12/08/2001 5:10:51 PM PST by Mia17
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - When it comes to predicting whether or not a heterosexual romantic relationship is going to last, the female partner's friends seem to be particularly astute, according to new study findings. The couple's joint friends are often good at predicting the success of the relationship as well, researchers report. ``People often turn to their friends for social support; however, we don't always believe that relationship 'outsiders' can offer truly useful insight regarding our own relationship,'' lead study author Dr. Christopher R. Agnew of Purdue University in Indiana told Reuters Health. ``Yet our study suggests that our friends can possess a great deal of prognostic information concerning our involvements.'' To investigate, Agnew's team performed a study of 74 male-female couples and their network of friends, including both their joint friends and their individual friends. All of the participants, including the couple members, were asked to give their perceptions about the couple's relationship, rating factors such as the male's and female's commitment to each other and their closeness. Study results show that the perceptions of the couples' joint friends and those of the female's friends were more successful in predicting the relationship's fate through the next 6 months than the perceptions of the male's friends. Furthermore, the perceptions of the female's friends remained significant predictors of the couple's fate even when the couple members' own perceptions were taken into consideration, the investigators report in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (news - web sites). What's more, the female's friends' perceptions of the couple's commitment and closeness also significantly predicted whether or not the pair would break up. The reason for this may be that couple members have a ''tremendous personal stake in the romance that clouds (their) judgments regarding it,'' the researchers suggest. ``Sometimes our very involvement in a relationship can prevent us from seeing our relationship as it is,'' Agnew said. The female's friends, in contrast, are ``less biased'' and are therefore able to make more successful predictions, the authors explain. In addition, women, in comparison to men, are known to share more realistic and more intimate information about their relationships with their friends. Thus, her friends may have more access than his friends to the relevant information on which their relationship predictions are based, Agnew and colleagues point out. In other findings, couples with a higher number of joint friends were more committed, satisfied and invested in the relationship, and were more likely to have remained together by the 6-month follow-up. ``Having proportionately more joint friends in your social network acts to reduce your involvement with your potentially commitment-threatening individual friends,'' Agnew explained. Individual friends ``do not necessarily even know your partner and might lead you away from your partner, either deliberately, by introducing you to tempting alternative partners, or accidentally, by putting you in an environment whereby you are tempted.'' For those with a significant number of individual friends, however, ``don't be too quick to discount the relationship assessments of your friends,'' study co-author Dr. Stephen M. Drigotas of Southern Methodist University in Texas told Reuters Health. ``They might have an accurate glimpse into what sort of relationship you have with your partner.''
Nothin', hon. You?
I thought about that a little longer and will elaborate. He doesn't have a job ... and hasn't for about the last 12 years. Maybe that's what makes him "no-good" ... the drunk part everyone understands. But she's an adult and can choose her husband ... so it is my duty to stay out of it.
Paragraphs make your post more readable. As a result, more people will read it instead of skipping the whole thing, as I did.
Better hope the lady has non-liberal friends.
I agree and that's scary.
All I can think of here is the Simpsons and Marge's two sisters. Selma and Who???? It's been awhile since I've watched it.
A friend of mine taught me it's better to take the risk and get involved. Her son's wife called her one night and broke down crying. She said she was leaving and taking the children with her. The couple had 2 girls, and the wife was pregnant with the third. My friend got so mad at her son, that she started hounding him with phone calls and e-mails until he finally realized his mom was not going to relent until he talked to her. When he did, he reported to his mom that he had made a big mistake and that he wanted his wife back. The wife took him back, and they have made a definite change in their marriage.
I am convinced my friend's involvement in her son's antics were responsible for the son's change of heart. Once he knew his mom was holding him accountable for his actions, he quickly changed them. If she had said, "this is none of my business", they might still be apart.
In fact, I cautioned her about interferring. Her reply was - excuse me ... those are my grandchildren who will be affected by the stupid actions of my son. I'm not going to let him get away with it.
Lately find myself in love with a big, brown and white 1000 pound baby. My truck just drives me to him everytime we go out. Can you offer any advice...? Would really appreciate it.....
ha!
Lady
My advice - If it has 4 legs, enjoy every minute of it, as you will a very loyal companion.:)
I wish my apartment didn't have a no dog policy. I like dogs like you like horses. :(
Couldnt resist as a follow up to the last thread on this topic.. ha!
Happy holidays sweetie,
Lady
Merry Christmas to you and your horses, and enjoy your winter break.
Dan
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