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To: Luis Gonzalez
Selara: "I have never discussed intimate details of what goes on with my spouse with my children. My spouse has never discussed it. We have no desire to discuss it with them, and neither would they have any interest in hearing it."</font color>

Luis: But the van Dams are "bad" for doing the exact same thing you did? Just because you do not approve of their alleged lifestyle, the rules are different for them? One last thing, no one is "cheating" in an open marriage.

OK, one more time, from the top. Early in this thread the question was posed, if the swinging lifestyle was so great, why did swingers usually attempt to hide it from their children, family and business associates? Not to mention national and local news. In other words, they do not tell their children, their family or coworkers that they engage in group sex....details is not an aspect..just the fact that it's multiple or group sex.

Now, monogamous, one partner spouses do NOT hide from their children, family and coworkers that they are a monogamous couple. Right???

So far, neither the multiple partner, or the single spouses are telling their children or ANYONE details. Right? Details NEVER need come up. Can you see that?

Last thing...by the definition of marriage in the western world, where polygamy is illegal...there is REALLY no such thing as an "open" marriage. It's one of those cultural catchy words, to try to help the couple forget that they are cheating. It's a construct, not a reality.

927 posted on 02/15/2002 6:27:25 PM PST by Selara
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To: Selara
"Early in this thread the question was posed, if the swinging lifestyle was so great, why did swingers usually attempt to hide it from their children, family and business associates? Not to mention national and local news."

OK, one last time, real slowly:

Because it is no one's damned business.

Get it?

Not only that, but because they do not need to subject themselves to the kind of name-calling and crap that has gone on this thread at the mere allegation (God help us! Now we deem people guilty simply because the "fail to deny" something)of a=swinging. Why would you WANT top openly discuss your lifestyle?

It still is no one's damned business.

929 posted on 02/15/2002 9:43:38 PM PST by Luis Gonzalez
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