Time Mag: Making Time for a Baby

Time Magazine ^ | Nancy Gibb

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I have my eyes in backwards. I read it as " When you see that flabby woman with the kids, that she isn't the grandmom, she's the mom", but it didn't read to me that the poster was talking in the first person.

This daylights savings time has taken it's toll. I got no sleep last night and today my brain is fried. My apologies. I totally read it wrong.

[Okies love Dubya 2]

Thanks for your kind words--once I had my daughter, I could not imagine anything more rewarding than being with my children. You should see the strange looks we get when we say that we are not stopping at two kids! I always used to think that two was going to be it, but for some reason, when I got pregnant with the child I am currently carrying I said 'two isn't enough' and I am willing to take what God sees fit to give my husband and me.

I have also learned that it is possible to decorate a home on a budget. I taught myself to sew last year, I have taken up cross-stitching, and I scour eBay for home decor as well. Every so often I splurge on something from Home Interiors, but I can usually learn to make something myself if I really want to. I figure that I will be able to pass on these lessons to my children as well.

[craqed]

ummm i dont' have it all... i dont' have a wife, kids, or the few things that i consider truly important in life. yes, i have material posessions (toys if you like that term), i have a good job, i'm in my 30s.. but i dont' have what i want. you need to get a life and consider that some people value family much more than everything else. and to harrison bergernon: aMEN!

[Melas]

I know what you are saying, but I have found raising children to be amazingly cheap (so far). I have a 3yr old and 5 yr old--breastfeeding was free, I get nice clothes for them from consignment stores, and they really haven't made much of a dent in the food budget at all. (I know that will change!) The biggest expense was that I cut my salary in half to go P/T, but I have no daycare expenses as I am blessed to have a mother and MIL who watch my children 7 hrs/wk each. We did move into a slightly bigger house when our second was born too, but it's not like each kid NEEDS their own room. I keep waiting for raising kids to get "expensive" like everyone warns, and I guess that will be college. But by then we will be in our late 40s and we've been saving for it.

Now that's amazing! I've never heard anyone make that statement before, ever. I have a childhood friend my age (38) who is in the same income bracket etc, and he can't understand why I can't afford the same toys he can afford. He just can't grasp that I have two children who've attached themselves like leeches to my checkbook. The difference in the grocery budget alone is staggering.

[pettifogger]

Yes, I am the gal with the flab. Thanks for sticking up for me, Redd and krb. I think. :o)

I was just trying to make the point that while I "give care," I am not a "caregiver" (liberal, feel-good word for whoever is stuck with the kids today). I am the Mom. And I have the well-earned flab to prove it!

[olivia3boys]

Well, I only buy my kids toys at Christmas and their birthdays, and then only 3 toys each. They actually don't play with toys much--we spend a lot of time at the park instead with their bikes and baseball bats (I live in CA and so we can go to the park year-round except for the few days it rains). Since I do have two boys I know they'll be soon eating us out of house and home though! So far I really have to say the cost of raising them has really been negligible.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I hope you understood my apology. You know how you can read something over and over and you don't read it the same way the writer meant it. I am just so used to women bashing on FR that when a man talks about flab I asume it's because they expect all of us to look like Britney Spears.

Again, it's just one of those days where my eyes are on backwards and I can't read worth a darn.

It's not flab, it's VOLUPTUOUS.

[wardaddy]

thanx....both sexes have their traditional responsibilities to bear...it's life...folks cannnot wish away things which cannot be altered.

[Paradox]

I got married to a wonderful woman and had a beautiful baby boy about 6 months ago. I don't want to sound like a wimp or anything but he's the most amazing and precious gift I could ever imagine.

WIMP!

LOL, just kidding, my wife gave birth to our son on October 23 of last year, and I feel exactly the same way, wimp or not! Besides, if they wanna call me a wimp, I can still kick their a$$es! :)

I had been mildly pro-life before, but I am now more against abortion than ever before (although still probably not as pro-life as many here are). It just amazes me how the pro-abortion crowd can so easily dismiss the baby as just a fetus, even at later stages of development.. incredible.

[Black Agnes]

And the exact reason Spitzer (Atty Gen for NY) is fighting crisis pregnancy centers like expectantmothercare.org for his big campaign contributors like NARAL. Expectant Mother Care uses 3-D sonograms to convince pregnant women considering abortion that just probably, their 'uterine material' (to use a PPA & NARAL term) is really a baby.

Expectant Mother Care

[bourbon]

Your post reminds me of Camile Paglia's statement that the great unwritten history of feminism is the history of moral men who predated modern feminism (generally thought to have begun in the early Nineteenth century). Because the history of feminism has been largely the history of female commentary and utterances, Paglia believes the history of the men who developed the moral, social, and technological groundwork for female 'liberation' to take place have been unjustly ignored.

Paglia also noted that the narrow-minded focus on "female voices" had the effect of giving feminist intellectuals a lamentably insular perspective on world history and culture. Simply put, if you only read women, you're disproportionately likely to be reading only modern authors/intellectuals because before the the 1800s so few women wrote. Paglia believe this to account for much of the skewed and ideological view of the world of most modern feminists.

This just goes to show a point so often (and so correctly) noted by Freepers: Those who claim to have the most 'open minds' are frequently those with the narrowest and most prejudicial views.

[MattinNJ]

Congratulations. Our Son was born on October 20th. Hope all is well with yours. Mine is doing great except his slap shot isn't all that accurate. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Maybe we can start a Son of Freepers club.

[bourbon]

I think it is terrible when people harumph or make disapproving comments of people who choose to have a 'large family' (more than 2 children).

Just an observation to show you how screwed up this world is. I have a professor who is a devout Catholic and has 7 children. When he revealed this fact to one of his classes, you could almost hear the air being sucked out of the room as the students gasped and sighed. Had my professor revealed proudly that he was gay, I doubt anyone would have reacted the same way. Presently, in "polite" society, it is permissible to make disparaging comments about parents who have large families but not about homosexuals. Try that on for weirdness! And think would this have happened just 10 or 20 years ago? Of course not.

Oh, and count me among the camp who hope you have as many beautiful children as you can! The world will be a better place because of them I am sure.

[Carolina]

My husband and I married early (we eloped instead of attending our college graduation) and we were on the family track two years later. Now in our late 30s we have children from toddler to teenager.

I can honestly say that staying at home and caring for my children and now, educating them myself has been singularly the most rewarding experience of my life. There is no material possession or peer accolade that I would trade for the privilege of having my children.

Every Sunday at church, when people comment on my children's exemplar behavior, I am reminded of the priceless treasure that my husband and I have.

It's not always easy when children's needs take precedence over my wants and desires. The biggest surprise has been how my children have helped me become a better human being.

[pettifogger]

No harm done, apology accepted.

Voluptuously yours,
pettifogger

[Ol' Sox]

Your story sounds almost identical to my own except for our ages. When my wife wasn't pregnant after our first couple of years, we ended up adopting two older biological brothers. The fun part is that three weeks after the adoption was finalized, guess what happened? That's right - a little girl to round out the family. :) The good Lord had a plan!

[Bigg Red]

I "give care," I am not a "caregiver"...

Very good!

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

I was just kidding you. I agree with what you are saying. Most people these days forget that humans are still animals, at least in the biological sense (I could make arguments whether we are animals in another sense too)...technology cannot overcome everything.

[wardaddy]

Amen for you!

[ColdSteelTalon]

The funny part of this is that I am 37 years old and single. If I want to raise a family I most likely will have to marry a woman in her mid 20's. I can't marry a 40 year old woman and a woman my age is pushing it.