If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck then it's a...?
...Quacker-backer? I'm not sure of your point here. Not to mention you are speaking to a graduate of the University of Oregon, whose mascot is the duck.
I've seen too many gorgious babes on the shoulders of many of our football players - whose team came in second in the nation - to think of those guys as worried about each other's rump. ;-)