"Master Of The Senate" Book Excerpt Pages 121-122(WARNING: LBJ Crudeness Alert!)

The physicality of Lyndon Johnson extended into areas besides that of argument. During the 1940’s, Capitol Hill was, of course, very much a man’s world, in which locker-room humor and morals were common; besides, almost half the members of the House, having been raised on farms, were accustomed to earthiness. But even some of these men were startled at Lyndon Johnson’s earthiness. “He would piss in the parking lot of the House Office Building,” says Wingate Lucas, a farm boy who represented Fort Worth. “Well, a lot of fellows did that. I did it. But the rest of us would try to hide behind a car or something. Lyndon wouldn’t. He just didn’t care if someone noticed him.” In fact, Lucas says, he seemed to want to be noticed. “I remember once, we were walking across the lot and some [female] secretaries were behind us, and he just stopped and began to take a piss right in front of them.”

He would also urinate in front of his own secretaries---and since some of them were attractive young women, this, too, was startling to those who witnessed it. During the years in the House, he had a one-room hideaway office on the top floor of the House Office Building---without a toilet, but with a wash-basin in the corner of the room., concealed behind a wood and green-burlap screen. While entertaining guests in the hideaway, or dictating to a secretary, he would pull the screen aside and urinate in the basin. Sometimes he would put the screen back before he did so---and sometimes he wouldn’t.

He had always displayed a great pride in his sexual apparatus. Even at college, where sexual boastfulness is a staple of campus existence, Lyndon Johnson’s boastfulness---and exhibitionism about his sexual prowess---had been striking to his fellows. Exhibiting his penis to his roomates, Johnson called it “Jumbo”; returning to his room after a date, he would say, “Jumbo had a real workout tonight,” while relating physical details of the evening, including details of his companion’s most intimate anatomy. And if he was urinating in a bathroom of the House Office Building and a colleague came in, Johnson, finishing, would sometimes turn to him with his penis in his hand. Without putting it back in his pants, he would begin a conversation, still holding it, “and shaking it, as if he was showing off,” says one man with whom he did this. He asked another man, “Have you ever seen anything as big as this.”

None of the body parts customarily referred to as “private” were private when the parts were Lyndon Johnson’s. Nervous and restless, he couldn’t seem in public to stop moving, and among the movements was an inordinate amount of scratching; of his chest, of his stomach---and of areas not generally scratched in public. He was constantly pulling his trousers lower, either in front or back, while complaining about his tailor’s failure to provide him with sufficient “ball room,” and he was continually, openly and at length, scratching his rear end---quite deeply into his rear end sometimes. He would plunge a hand into a side pocket of his trousers and scratch his groin. “Crude,” says Representative Richard Bolling of Missouri. “Crude. Barnyard. Always scratching his crotch and picking his nose in mixed company. I’ll never forget----one time he had some injury---hernia or something---and even with the girls present in his office he pulled his pants down to show it. And he’d sit at his desk, and it wouldn’t matter if there was a woman there---he’d pull up his scrotum while talking. We men used to be a bit embarrassed.”

Here is an excerpt from Robert Caro's INCREDIBLE "Master Of The Senate," a biography of Lyndon B. Johnson. This is perhaps the BEST political biography I have ever read. I will be posting other excerpts from this book from time to time but I thought I would lead off with something juicy that would give you some insight into Johnson's character.

Without putting it back in his pants, he would begin a conversation, still holding it, “and shaking it, as if he was showing off,” says one man with whom he did this. He asked another man, “Have you ever seen anything as big as this.”

Okay, perhaps Johnson was crude as hell, but wouldn't you have loved seeing him try this stunt on Barbara Boxer?

Wait until I post the stuff about how he raised tons of campaign money with cash delivered in brown bags. If you had seen such scenes in the movies, you would have disregarded it as an over-exaggeration. And the money came from from oilmen and other Texas businessmen as well as from Labor Unions. Oodles of cash that were often stuffed into the pockets of LBJ's couriers (including John Connally). This sort of gives you a little historical background to take into account when the Demmycrats squawk about campaign finance "reform" as if it were the Republicans who were the real villains. As it stated in the book, LBJ was the grand master at raising campaign contributions, most of it illegal.

Besides the sexual creepiness of this behavior, it obviously was a way of asserting power. He was humiliating people who had little choice but to put up with it.

Examples of this were mentioned later in the chapter. BTW, I do know LBJ liked to assert himself over Robert STRANGE McNamara by having McNamara report to him while he was sitting stark naked on his toilet while clearing his bowels. However, in this case, I do relish the thought of McNamara being humiliated in such a way.

Does Caro tell about Johnson STUFFING the Ballot Box in his early career? Connally finally told the story.

Does he tell about Johnson conducting meeting while sitting on the john doing his business?? Even his "paramour" Doris Kearns Goodwin thought it was funny!

Democrats are CLASSLESS.

A friend of mine from Victoria, TX, the power base of LBJ, told a story of his father taking a box of ballots and hiding them under the County Courthouse. He said that this duty went to several youngsters as an initiation into Dem politics. Mike thinks that the ballots are probably still under the courthouse.

Politics in the Old South was a full contact sport. The outward corruption we hear of in Mexico was perfected here as a quiet sport, since even the Dems couldn't keep real corruption out of the papers.

Thanks for posting this. I thought about doing the same but wasn't that ambitious. ;-)

Caro is obviously a liberal and you have to read beyond his slander of any conservative politicians. But, the book is fascinating in its description of how things got done in the Senate of the 1950s---and how Johnson became the master of the Senate in a few short years.

Funny thing is that all of the reviewers say that this book presents Johnson in a better light than the first two books!

Does Caro tell about Johnson STUFFING the Ballot Box in his early career?

This was covered in Caro's second LBJ volume, Means Of Ascent.

Does he tell about Johnson conducting meeting while sitting on the john doing his business?? Even his "paramour" Doris Kearns Goodwin thought it was funny!

This is also mentioned in the paragraph right after the last one I posted. I didn't want to stretch my credibility by posting it. BTW, I think it was funny when he sat stark naked on the toilet while conducting meetings with Robert STRANGE McNamara. I like the idea of him being grossed out.

Ya know something? I believe allowing former President Johnnson to behave in this manner is disgusting. However, there is NO job in this whole entire world that would EVER make me lower the respect for my own self by once again...allowing someone to so obviously do something so grotesque and disrepectful to me. No thanks. Presidents or anyone. Remember the key words in this reply are ALLOW...'cause that's what we do with people like this. We ALLOW them to get away with behavior like that. I wonder what and how Mrs. Johnson and his daughters felt? Did he respect them????????????/ I think not! My father was a house painter. Who would I respect more? ?That President or the house painter. My father, the simple house painter 100 trillion times over. God Bless my father and President Bush!

But, the book is fascinating in its description of how things got done in the Senate of the 1950s---and how Johnson became the master of the Senate in a few short years.

This book is INCREDIBLE for the insights as to how the Senate REALLY operates. I already have a much better picture of that institution.

Funny thing is that all of the reviewers say that this book presents Johnson in a better light than the first two books!

Obviously they are conveniently overlooking the fact that LBJ was the biggest crook when it came to raising massive amounts of campaign cash. This was covered in the book as well as his destruction of Leland Olds (which helped get him access to oil money).

This is a MUST READ book. And it's UTTERLY FASCINATING!!!

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