Alien and/or Time Traveller message

email message | 28June2002 | dragonball03

[laredo44]

I need an advanced time traveler to work with who can help me, I would prefer someone with access to teleportation as well as a variety different types of time travel.

Um, you see, the thing is, well, the guys that knew all that stuff, um, they left on the Hale Bopp a couple of years back, and, uh, the trouble is, you really need some sort of time travel device to get to them to get the time travel thing. You've really gotten yourself into a helluva catch-22. Sorry, fella, I really hate being the bearer of bad news like this.

This is not a joke!

At least you're luck's not all bad. You'll find no pranksters here.

[Johnny Gage]

Reply back to him

And tell him to reconfigure his Gonkulator back into the 5.010523 mega-ritom range and tune his Corbomite generator to emit a signal at a frequency of 4.123 Tera-hertz.

This will reset his mind and allow him to function as a normal part of society

[CROSSHIGHWAYMAN]

When Trafficant goes to jail, does his "hair" get a pardon?

[Deguello]

Tell they guy that if he makes it back to '65 to be sure to look up Ross Perot, loan him money and secure it with EDS stock.

[Lazamataz]

I'm the 'evil being' that this message refers to.

Help him and die.

[Lazamataz]

When Trafficant goes to jail, does his "hair" get a pardon?

The Endangered Species Act requires that the hair be set free in it's native habitat.

Congress will do.

[Lazamataz]

And tell him to reconfigure his Gonkulator back into the 5.010523 mega-ritom range and tune his Corbomite generator to emit a signal at a frequency of 4.123 Tera-hertz.

You helped him.

You will suffer.

I am replacing you with an EXACT REPLICA of you, identical in every way.

[Revolutionary]

Time Travel: No Problem. It's expensive and one way only.

[operation clinton cleanup]

carbon copy replica model #50 3000 series

Didnt Al Gore invent one of those?

[Mr. K]

...oops, got back a little too early...

Hi, I have a time travel device, I will fulfill your request, then come back to finish this post. brb...

[goodieD]

Or vague promises to enlarge MY ..ahem..male genitalia to murderous proportions.
Oh, and an odd one that's come up recently. Can someone please explain to me what's hot about "dog farts"??? As in the title, "Dogfart sluts" ???? My husband and I both have been getting these recently.

[maxwell]

"Dogfart sluts"

Hmmmm... Mebbe some reference to bestiality...

[maxwell]

Congress will do.

BWAHAHA!

[SoDak]

Is that the factory default?

[Arkinsaw]

I got a message from this guy about a month ago but he was much more specific about what he wanted. He claimed that he had a 'time machine' but that it was 'useless' without a 'vortex generator'. He insisted that he needed the 'east/west vortex generator' as opposed to the 'north/south vortex generator' which would not be effective in his specific case.

I would posit that you do not actually have something you can call a 'time machine' until it is not 'useless' at least once.

I considered spoofing his email address and adjusting my system clock in order to send him a 'message from himself from the future' telling him to stop trying to build a time machine since it only will lead to unimaginable problems for himself.

[oldsalt]

I've received the following twice. Weird.

If you are a time traveler or alien and or in procession of alien or government technology I need your help! My case is truly genuine! I seek to work with someone who is of a kind nature, someone I can call my savior as well as a friend. My life has been severely tampered with and cursed by evil beings!! I have suffered tremendously and am now dying! I need to be able to: Travel back in time. Rewind my life including my age back to 4. I am in great danger and need this immediately! I want to work with you in any way possible. I am aware of two types of time travel one in physical form and the other in energy form where a snapshot of your brain is taken using either the dimensional warp or the brain snapshot device and then sends your consciousness back through time to part with your younger self. I'm almost certain the dimensional warp would be the safest and best solution. Please explain how safe and what your method involves. I have a time machine now, but it has limited abilities and is useless without a vortex. If you can provide information on how to create vortex generator or where I can get some of the blue or red glowing moon crystals this would also be helpful. I am however concerned with the high level of radiation these crystals give off, if you could provide a shielding this would be helpful. I believe the vortex would have to be east-west polarized, North-south polarized vortexes are used for cross-dimensional time travel only. If you have this technology and can help me please send me a (SEPARATE) email to: powerhouse213@aol.com Thanks

Like I said, weird...but funny ahd interesting.

[bootless]

Laz, you're not gonna believe that, but I read your message before I scrolled to see the author. I *knew* that was you!!

I scare me sometimes.

[RightWhale]

the 'east/west vortex generator' as opposed to the 'north/south vortex generator'

He seems to be reading W. B. Yeats but missing the point.

[bootless]

...and then sends your consciousness back through time to part with your younger self.

No, no, no. He's got it all wrong. It should read party with your younger self.

[knarf]

"I am replacing you with an EXACT REPLICA of you, identical in every way."

Hey!
Howja' do that?
Y'did pretty good too ... 'cept, now my screen name is changed.

cc+ indeed!