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[I demand you cease and desist from all future use of "the". Ownership of copyright, and all rights of use of "the" are held Freeper Fixit. "the" is a registered trademark of Freeper Fixit, and Freeper Fixit also holds, claims, and protects other intellectual property and trade secrets in the use, formulation, production, application and exploitation of "the."
Please sign and return the enclosed affadavit assuring Fixit of your deletion of all occurrences of "the" from your hard drive. Also, you must insure that at all future times you cease and desist from infringing Fixit's intellectual property by using "the" in any un-licensed and/or trademark diluting fashion. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.]