Army of Love Family of 19 Relies On Chore Lists, Laughter

Good Morning America ^ | 8/16/02 | ABC News Staff

[antidisestablishment]

Army of Love

Family of 19 Relies On Chore Lists, Laughter

Aug. 16 — Early morning at the Dunham family home, the coffee is brewing, and all is peaceful … but not for long. Soon, there is a bugle call to wake the kids up — all 17 of them.

The Dunhams are what you might call a mega-family, and running a family this size is much like a military operation, with mom serving as the general. First, there is a wake-up call for the four littlest girls. "OK — who wants Cocoa Puffs, and who wants Rice Krispies?" the mom, Paula Dunham asks.

Next, she rouses the five older girls, and then finally, all eight boys.

"When you have this many, you have to know what you're doing — otherwise you just sink," Dunham told Good Morning America.

The Dunhams are a minority in a country of mostly two-family kids, but they're not alone. An estimated 3.5 million U.S. families have four or more children. Like other extra-large families, the Dunham family came together through a combination of birth and adoption. Others are blended families from two previous marriages.

Yet the organizational skills that the Dunhams have adopted can serve as an example for families of any size.

Big Family, Two Bathrooms

For the Dunhams, everyone — the eight biological kids and the nine adopted ones — has to pull their weight by completing chores that range from clearing the dishes, to mowing the lawn, to cleaning the bathrooms.

The latter duty is especially important: the house's 17 children and two adults have only two bathrooms to share. The space shortage means that mobilizing the troops can take some time.

After attending church, the family heads to the supermarket, where they pick up four pounds of deli meat, three loaves of bread, countless bags of chips and three gallons of milk. It is enough for one lunch.

Back home — the frontline is the kitchen, where sandwiches are made for the seven youngest. The older ones must fend for themselves.

"Zach, Danny, you guys better get in here!" yelled the dad, Paul Dunham, summoning the boys to come in and prepare their lunches.

Meanwhile, the mom, Paula, is checking out the chore list.

"Romnick, you have dishes next," she called.

Developing a Sock System

Paula Dunham, aka "General Mom" has gotten used to four loads of laundry every single day.

"The simple fact remains that we just have hundreds of socks," she said. As the editor of large-family magazine, Joyfull Noise, Paula says she often hears from readers who have used varying techniques to deal with the sock dilemma.

Some use zipper pouches for each child's socks, others pin pairs together, some used different colored threads to differentiate the socks, and others just use a big laundry basket that allows all the family members to find their own matching socks.

Most of the time, everything runs smoothly. For the children, there's always a playmate, whether the kids shoot hoops, wrestle, play cards, or just lounge around on the couch together.

The Special Ingredient

Paula and Paul Dunham always knew they wanted a lot of kids, though they never imagined the number that they now have, and never thought their days would be a blur of skinned knees, hugs and runny noses and meals big enough to feed an army.

"We can go through a gallon of ketchup in a day's time," Paul Dunham said.

But the most important ingredient for the family doesn't come in a bottle.

"We laugh a lot, this whole family laughs a lot," Paula Dunham said.

They've found that laughter and love expand to fill the available space. And that the joy of toothbrushing and bedtime stories doesn't seem to pale — no matter how many tired foreheads they kiss.

Tomorrow they will sound the bugle again, as they rouse their special army of love.

[2Jedismom]

Determination and joy. Sure, things can be tight, even with just my two jedis to deal with...but the joy in this household is incredible. My two jedis live life with such gusto.

[Vidalia]

This wasn't deep, merely simplistic satirical commentary of the way the AM shows show "deep concern" over every little thing that the American public, individuals or families accomplish without the help of the Federal Government

This family is to be commended as resourceful and committed to the ideals that the, if I may use the antiquated term, pioneers of decades ago used.

These folks use their inventiveness, their organizational skills and the sense of "family" to work together to accomplish whatever challenge is before them.

Unlike the pap show that they were on whose producers think the government is an end all fixer to all domestic, rural, urban, personal, marital or whatever problem is next portrayed in the teat-fed media, these folks have, so far, defeated the Socialist Nanny-Government government that would otherwise take over their lifestyle by telling them who, what, where, when and why they should accept Government aid/help.

So far, they have defeated the Socialist ideologists who would take their freedoms of choice away from them.

That is a very good thing...

[antidisestablishment]

Amen! That's why we named our large family magazine Joyfull Noise.

[Vidalia]

Same reply to you, sir or madam...

[patent]

I seem to have deleted the file with my bump list. I'll work on getting it back, as I would like to bump this. In the mean time maybe polycarp can.

[Polycarp]

Happy to...pinging.

[Polycarp]

Close friends here have 12 of their own. He is a self employed carpenter, he makes furniture in his basement shop. They homeschool, and the two oldest are now freshman and sophomores on full paid scholarships for music degrees in a well respected local university. Mom and dad only have HS degrees. He now makes some of the kids musical instruments from scratch. Eight of their children now play either violin, cello, or viola.

Congrats on your appearance. You make all of us proud, even those of us with big family hearts but not granted the big family by Our Lord (yet, hopefully.)

[grumpster-dumpster]

"Honestly, there is nothing special about us."

Well, I suppose you have a right to your misguided opinon... I think most of us will disagree however.

Blessings to all of you!
-grump

[saradippity]

Thanks for the ping.It's rejuvenating to read articles like this.May God continue to bless them and may more people,exposed to stories about families like this, recognize the beauty and satisfaction and wonderfuness of living a life far from the politically correct,socialogically "normed" and Planned Parenthood approved,mainstream.

[Salvation]

I was going to bump it and then noticed that Polycarp did right below your post.

Antidisestablishment and family,
May God bless all of you in your abundance as well as His abundance.

Salvation

[Marie Antoinette]

How wonderful!! I got tears in my eyes reading your replies about your family. We don't have cable so I couldn't see the program (we live out in nowhere, so no over the air telecasts either-that we can see!).

We *only* have six, but I'm still pretty young ;-) Last night all the mobile kids (5) were playing around the table and my husband remarked, "Look at that gaggle of kids!" to which I replied, "Doesn't look like that many to me!"

When we fill our house, THEN we will have a lot! LOL!

God Bless you (more!)

[pro-life]

praise God, thanks for the ping. it is very inspiring to see that there are still people out there who dont spit at God's blessings! i pray that someday God will bless me with a huge family too.

[Siobhan]

God bless you! I'll be praying for you and your wonderful family. Your story just makes me smile and smile.

[katnip]

Great story.

Thank you.

God bless you all.

[antidisestablishment]

Thanks for the bump. I was wondering why I hadn't had a bump from you in a while. I thought it was just because of the new forum features. Anyway, thanks again.

[antidisestablishment]

Sorry for the delayed reply. I have been offline for a week. Longest FR free period in a long time!

Thanks for your kind words. I am not musically inclined at all, but I do love all sorts of music. My wife and one of my sons sing and our oldest boy plays guitar. It is wonderful to hear about your friend's family.

[antidisestablishment]

Sorry for the delayed reply. I have been offline for a week. Longest FR free period in a long time! Well, I suppose you have a right to your misguided opinon..

LOL ... You don't sound so grumpy to me!

[antidisestablishment]

Thanks. His abundance is all ours.

[dennisw]

WAY TO GO!!!!

[ASDFGHJK]

This is beautiful. I know two mega families and they are the most human, happy, fulfilled, alive and purposeful people I know. These are mini-nations. The children will always know the joy of extended families. Great post.