[dirtboy]

In other news, researchers in Egypt have translated a previously undecipthered hieroglyphic symbol, that of a bald human head on a snake's body, to mean "political consultant," thereby pushing back the known beginnings of the Democratic Party at least three thousand years. Researchers have previously noted a puzzling economic and geopolitical decline in Egypt that started about the same time.

[blam]

"In other news, researchers in Egypt have translated a previously undecipthered hieroglyphic symbol, that of a bald human head on a snake's body, to mean "political consultant."

Scientist will compare DNA from mummies found in the same area to those of James Carville to confirm the translation.