Yikes.
We need more like him today!
"Mr. PRINTER
I am a poor distressed woman [the United States of America], who for the thirteen or fourteen years since I kept house, have had as great a variety of fortune as ever beset any female. Glorious gleams of sunshine indeed have I had, and happiness ever seemed in my reach; yet by the mismanagement of servants, in brakeing cups and saucers, spoiling provisions, &c. I think I am likely to be ruined. A few days ago I expected to put an end to all my troubles, by sending for a worthy gentleman [George Washington], who had often taken me out of the gutter, when I considered myself as irretrievably fallen. Hearing he was at hand, I requested my neighbour (as good a man I thought as could be) to brush the furniture, and sweep the house, where I used to lodge my best friends. Now could you think it, Sir? Off he runs, and buys such an heap of pots and pans, and dishes and ladles, as run me to ten or twelve pounds of expence. Good Lord! and all this after my being so much in debt already. I determined not to pay him. But what of that? Sawny [Alexander Hamilton] the servant, who had the keeping of the trifle of cash I was possessed of, the moment my back was turned, gave him the money. Was there ever such a trick? People tell me the Grand Jury [Congress] should indict him; but la Sir, the Jury know all about it, and I am afraid will take no notice of him, but lye by, till it suits them too, to get a slap at me.
Mr. Printer, I think I am not deficient in the qualities of my head; my heart I know to be possessed of the principles of rectitude. Is it not dreadful that my concerns should be knocked about at this rate, every body doing what they please with me? After describing my situation, you cannot expect me to tell my name, but pray publish my case, which is a plain one. Perhaps some humane person may direct me how to get out of my difficulties."