The College Theme Paper

e-mail ^ | 9/24/2002 | Unknown

[Argh]

What a hoot!

[Slip18]

Thanks moneyrunner, this is hysterical.

[Teacher317]

bumping a keeper.

[Slip18]

Hiya, Arghie! Would you like some chamomile tea? I have this absolutely gorgeous tea set. You'll adore the fine china with the little lillies of the valley rising up from the bottom of the cup to the top.

Do you take sugar or cream? Or are you one of those lemon persons?

Come here, Arghie, let me wipe the cream off your chin. Now, you're supposed to hold out your pinky finger when you drink this delightful tea.

[maxwell]

WTF??? MasterGeek doesn't friggin' CRY! What kind of treescrewin' dreck IS this!

Suddenly First MasterGeek realized that Laurie had poisoned him with an alphahydroxisymbiotic neurodepresser, and by force of sheer will, he autoreversed the weakening effect. He cast the b!tch aside, feeling his external nanocontrol grid surge with latent power. He knew what he had to do: Subjugate and Destroy. His mission was clear. He got on his Harley Davidson FXSTD Softail Deuce with silver trim, leather seat and badass tank paint job, slung his multi-channel deneuralizer over his shoulder, and disappeared over the horizon in a cloud of dust and ashes.

[Argh]

HEY! I never get "cream on my chin", what do I look like, Sean Hannity? Sheesh! I was allowed in the Boy Scouts, y'know!

I've never tried chamomile tea, actually... And your tea set DOES sound lovely...

[Slip18]

LOL!

IMHO, I think laughter right now is the best medicine.

[Constantine XIII]

He, he, one would hope that we Freepers could take a little political incorrectness. At least I'm only being bigoted toward a minority that doesn't exist yet! :O)

Many pardons for the muffed punctuation; I was mad at the time.

Cheers,

c13

[Constantine XIII]

er, my bad, I made that last reply thinking of another thread!

[Billthedrill]

You miserable chauvinist! Can't you see MasterGeek is getting in touch with his feminine side?

BtD: Laurie watched the lace doilies flapping on the seat of MasterGeek's Intergalactic Harley as her love sped off into history. She sighed, pulling together the torn remnants of her bodice [note to self: check to see if you can wear a cashmere sweater over a bodice] as she recalled the tempestuous evening before and their mad, impulsive love-making under the shattered eaves of the neighborhood co-op. Alas, theirs was a star-crossed love, but she would always remember his beautiful grey eyes reflecting the flames issuing from the weapons dump the people had set afire when they had finally rejected the harshness of war and embraced the benevolent rule of their Anu'udrian masters. Now that he'd had the operation and testosterone would no longer be a problem, he'd return...she just knew he would.

[Centurion2000]

So what happened to the treaty ?

What a POS crap. I did like the intellectual interplay between the authors though :)

[Chancellor Palpatine]

"Yeah, right, like I'm going to come back", he thought as he sped into the dark.

"Typical of a peacenik chick to think my body isn't producing testosterone 24/7. Hey, maybe I'll find some hotter, younger chick to bang the night before I save the universe using some good old fashioned American technology developed in secret by the military and the CIA".

[maxwell]

Funny he should say that because just at that moment, "Big Joe's Tits Tats Transmissions and Thai Takeout" ("Free lapdance with purchase of spark plugs and large cheese fries") loomed before him like a big greasy hitman... He parked the Harley Davidson FXSTD Softail Deuce with silver trim leather seat and badass tank paint job and kicked the doors open with his steeltoed sh!tkickers. "FUEL!" he bellowed, and fired his multichannel deneuralizer at a light fixture. Various pigtailed minions scattered. A bighaired bombacious blonde beauty clad in somethin-or-nother yo momma never wore sidled to his side with a fifth o' cuervo and a shot glass between her---

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Laurie sat alone - having as her only company the broken body of her beloved cat. Agonizing to herself over whether to give in to her weakness, she decided reluctantly to follow his tracks.

"If only I can get him to affirm my feelings, and that my actions are just as valid as his" she wailed, the smoke stinging hear teary eyes as her ergonomically designed, earth saving bicycle rattled down the broken, desolate road.

In the distance, she spied a sign - "Big Joe's Tits Tats Transmissions and Thai Takeout" - and "HIS" bike barked out front.

Taking a deep breath and preparing herself for the verbal confrontation she both relished and abhorred, she stepped inside.

There he was. Standing with a tequila bottle in one hand, and his arm around the most attractive woman she had ever seen. Inside, she boiled and seethed [how dare he touch someone else], but there was also a feeling of intense desire that she never had before - for him, for her, for all three to have a sensuous time like no other.

[maxwell]

LMFAO!

At first he nearly swallered his front gold tooth when he espied her skanky treehuggin' a$$ there before him. "Zounds! This b!tch just don't quit." Then he reconsidered, "Hey, what the hell..."

Six hours and unknown cuervo fifths later, MasterGeek awoke, clambered over a cheese-whiz-slathered slumbering twosome, kicked a broken ceiling fan from his path and staggered into the dim hallway. "Gad. Those broads looked a hellovalot hotter last night..." At that exact moment the evil Anu'udrian vice-lord ordered the utter and total annihilation of earth civilization. His talented tri-tongued secre-tary, who unbeknownst to him was a spy for MasterGeek, immediately boarded a small vessel headed for Big Joe's, hiding key logistical outlines in her--

[KineticKitty]

Imagine the story the "3 julies" could write!!! LMAO

[Billthedrill]

Laurie sighed as she sat back, herbal cigarette between her ruby-hued lips. The earth had moved, the sky had thundered, and her new lover now slumbered peacefully beside her. Gone were her agonies over unfaithful, unappreciative minor imperial functionaries, gone the heartbreak of unrequited love, gone (mostly) were the glutinous bits of Poopsie that clung to her cashmere sweater like festering organic dingleberries. She was at peace. Snuggling close into the welcoming arms of her Anu'udrian studmuffin, she reflected that a properly lived life did, at last, reward the righteous with paens of bliss, and that when they awoke, refreshed, she and Andy would find MasterGeek and his truculent friends and deposit a lithium fusion missile where the triple suns of Altair don't shine...

[Billthedrill]

A BTT for the evening crowd...

[Chancellor Palpatine]

MasterGeek braced himself for the task coming in just a few hours, chugging half a bottle of whiskey, and smoking a pack of filterless camels while poring over charts and diagrams.

"Just one damned weakness, and I'll be able to kick back, relax, and enjoy a good threesome before writing that letter to 'Penthouse Forum'".

[weikel]

Louis Farrakhan and the Nation of Islam beamed up?