[Chancellor Palpatine]

MasterGeek braced himself for the task coming in just a few hours, chugging half a bottle of whiskey, and smoking a pack of filterless camels while poring over charts and diagrams.

"Just one damned weakness, and I'll be able to kick back, relax, and enjoy a good threesome before writing that letter to 'Penthouse Forum'".

[maxwell]

Suddenly the ultimating transformer signal went off. "ZOUNDS!" said MasterGeek as he activated the residual diffuser. "The Poynting indicator is logarithmic!" The Poynting indicator was logarithmic. This could only mean one thing-- an ultraballistic magnetically shielded epsilon device was implanted in his Anu'udrian associate. "Sorry babe, it's you or mankind," said MasterGeek as he shackled the tri-tongued beauty in the cryofibrillic deammoniator. Suddenly her head exploded and a slime-covered seven-foot arthropidean leaped out from her body at MasterGeek. "Curses! A symbiote!" He wielded his multichannel deneuralizer...