Posted on 10/11/2002 6:50:26 AM PDT by kaylar
NEW YORK - On Saturday afternoon at Washington Square Park, I saw the strangest sight ever. Hundreds of dachshunds had gathered, with their owners, for the biannual Dachshund Fest, the largest "convention" of hot-dog-shaped dogs in the world. As I approached the park, dozens of dachshunds were getting out of cabs, dressed in their Sunday best.
"Jesus, what the hell was that?" I said, jumping back. It wouldn't be the last time I'd feel a surprise lick on my ankle. Who knew there were so many sausage-shaped canines?
"This is not a dog show," said Adrian Milton, who organized this, the 11th such gathering. "It's a love fest. We're not here to say, 'My dog is better than yours.' We're not out to attract people like that. We're just out to attract people who love dachshunds."
Milton, who has bleached blond hair and wears Armani sunglasses, says he came up with the idea for the fest when he saw that his first dachshund (now deceased) would get excited seeing other dachshunds on the street.
The dachshund he has now, Waldo, is spoiled rotten, he admits. "One of my friends saw us and said, 'Oh, that dog can walk? I had no idea.' I always carry him."
It's true the Dachshund Fest is a love fest. When the Post's photographer was asked if she was a "dog person" and happened to respond, "Uh, not particularly," she was shunned for the rest of the afternoon.
"Of course you were," I told her. "Never tell dog people you don't like dogs. It's like going into a children's bookstore and saying you hate babies."
Walking around, listening in on conversations, you realize some dachshund owners bring new meaning to New York neurotic.
"I hope he's not going to be overstimulated here," said one man, holding his dog under his arm, as he made his way through the tangle of leashes.
"His name is Magnolia," said someone else, "but we can't call him Maggie because one of our friends has a daughter named Maggie, so we call him Mags."
As if a gathering of dachshunds wasn't strange enough, it gets stranger.
"Can I have a copy of the Dachs Song?" I asked the accordion player, who was handing out copies of the sheet music. His name is Paul de Vries, I learn, and he wrote this anthem for the dogs in 1993.
"Why don't you hand some out?" he said, handing me a stack of about 50 sheets.
These things always happen to me, I swear.
"We're going to all sing together in about an hour. Everyone lifts their dachshunds into the air at the same time," he explained.
Interesting. Now that I had a job to do, I walked up to Gooster and Lulu, both dachshunds. Gooster was dressed in a Jets sports T-shirt, and Lulu was dressed as a fairy, with pink wings and everything.
I really wanted to ask, "Why? Why do this to your dog?" but the question, "Why didn't you dress up your dog?" would have been more appropriate, as more than half the dachshunds there were sporting some kind of costume.
"I also have a cheerleader outfit for her," said Lulu's owner, Susan Andriola. "Dachshunds love to dress up. I guess it's because I don't have a girl of my own to dress."
A dog named Scooter was wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat, another was wearing a bumblebee outfit, another a devil outfit. Two were even dressed as if they were going to Hawaii, with printed shirts and leis around their necks.
"I wanted her to go in style," said the owner of Bibi, who was wearing a hat with flowers.
Just after 1 p.m., Milton got up to the microphone. "It's time for the song. So everyone gather around."
Suddenly everyone was singing: "There's no o-ther dog like a dachs-hund, walk-ing so close to the ground, they're stub-born and sly as a fox, and the hap-pi-est pet to be found ... Most kinds of dogs seem to ei-ther have shapes or pro-por-tions all wrong ... but dachs-hunds are both short and long ... call you wei-ner, or sau-sage, or hot dog, we know that you're number one."
Apparently, most people had been to previous Dachshund Fests, as everybody seemed to know the words by heart.
And it's true: At the last verse, they all lifted their dogs to the sky. Of course, like most passersby, I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing.
"You're not going to believe where I am," said the woman next to me into her cellphone. She was visiting from L.A.
"I'm at a park in New York and there are hundreds of dachshunds here," she continued. "Yep ... Yep ... Don't worry, I'm taking pictures. You are going to flip."
reckler@nationalpost.com
In my house, we call the Dachs Song "Dachshunde Uber Alles", pronounced "OOOOOOOOOOOOber alles".
Feel free to ping any known weiner victims to this thread.
Michael
We had a dachshie mix when I was a kid and we still have home movies of him climbing out of an "unclimeable" fence, but it was his skill at burrowing underneath the fence that made him an escape expert.
A class "A" misdemeanor here in New York...
Which lends new meaning to the phrase "weiner dog"
She was kept in an outside pen for five years. She was only allowed inside the house when the temperature was well below freezing. They even had an automatic feeder and waterer so they wouldn't have "to be bothered" with her at all.
She is the sweetest, most loving dog I've ever had. Some abused dogs are vicious or too nervous, but others really seem to appreciate someone who loves them, like our two little longhairs.
We found out after we got him home and checked out by the vet the little guy had heartworm.. We had him treated and he is fine now. My suspicion is the origional owner knew about the heartworm and didn't want to deal with it.
His loss was our gain.. I can't imagine life without the Tedster and my son named him..
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