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.  OFF THE PRESS!
. 
Howdy Troops!
While you are fighting bravely against terrorists, our country
is in "disarray". Yep, as a matter of fact..you may
not even have a country to fight for. Your country may
just go out of existence. Give up now, Troops! Move
to France and start learning how to hug and love
women who don't shave under their armpits.
(Are you thinking: MoJo get on with the "suicide" and
be done with it. Get on with it, will ya? Sheesh)
I'm sure most of you haven't realized by now that
America is now under control by a tyrannt far worse
than Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden put
together. And who praytell thinks this?
Almost every media pundit that was anxiously awaiting
to see the Republicans brought to their knees.
They are in a state of mourning and expect the rest of us
to be. Well, the hell with them. We've got things to do!
We've got terrorists to hunt, track down, and kill. It's
a rather simple thing, but devastating all the same.
When the Democrats wake up and join the rest of us
in this reality that we call "THE REAL WORLD".
They won't like what they see. So? If you happen to see
a depressed Democrat walking your way, please be aware
that they are mourning. Please refrain from too much excitement.
Refrain from being too happy at their expense. After all,
it was the party of jackasses that brought the country
to its knees to begin with. We've merely taken the knee-pads
off and are ready to stand proud to be who we are. 
NEWSFLASH!!!
Did you know that obese people have very serious
health related issues? (Honestly, I didn't think I could have
slept a wink at night without having known this little fact.)
You are all so welcome for me helping to alleviate
any undue stree that would have been caused not knowing
any of this. So? Sleep tight, troops! MoJo is on the job! 
It isn't enough to kill your wife and her friend. Nope!
It isn't even enough to have federal investigators scoping
your property for "illegal" cable descrambler boxes. Nope!
It's not even enough to live with the fact you are OJ Simpson.
Nope! Now you've got to go pick on the poor and innocent:
Yes! Manatee!! (The Juice is on the loose)
It seems that on Wednesday (that would have been the first
day of mourning for our friends at the DNC)
OJ was wanted by law enforcement for "terrorizing"
these poor creatures. He managed not to show up for his
"manatee-harassment case". (Their words, not mine) It
seems that our little Satan took his powerboat through
the Florida waters designated for our friendly sea cows.
So? A judge put out an order to bring the Juice in. (No
word on whether they had to chase him in a Ford Bronco)
So? Let this be a lesson to any of you who would dare
harass our Manatee friends. Actually, MoJo wonders which
is more disturbing: OJ Simpson still walking around or
OJ Simpson still walking around and harassing sea cows?
Surely, he's not that desperate. Or is he? 
Do you see your grandma in these pictures?
Good! Tell her butt to come home!
Anyways, this picture is there for a purpose.
First of all, these are three members of those positively
inept group of retirees, mostly members of the AARP,
that make up the Palm Beach Idiot Voting Brigade.
Just look at them. Don't they look helpless?? (Well,
grandpa sure does. Help!) Anyways, here's the issue:
Yet again, the brainiacs in West Palm Beach managed to lose
Anyways, those "intelligent" Liberals in the election committee
in Broward County managed to lose 100k votes. (Deja vu?)
Of course, they happened to have found the votes the next
day and realized they were uncounted. (MoJo is wondering
how you couldn't see there was a huge pile of votes just laying
on a table. Hello??) However, I realize that these are Liberals
and the geriatrics groupies that we are dealing with! So?
They received the Jackass Award today! Congratulations!
Now would someone tell these grannies that they need to
go home. And please let poor grandpa have a break!  
Vin Diesel!
Um, I'm trying to find something that I could really say
that would make him fit in this Useless Tidbit's segment,
but I'm posting this for Goddess, Carol, and anyone else
who thinks MoJo needs to post less pictures of bimbos
and more pictures of studs. So, there!  
JONI MITCHELL TELLS ALL:
Joni Mitchell and Madonna. What a pair! Well, you'd think
so. Wouldn't you? Well, not so fast my friends!
Here's Joni Mitchell's opinion about a few items:
Madonna: She's a bimbo! She's the worst thing that has
happened in the music industry. She's manufactured and
she's not really that talented. She's made it acceptable to
be cheap, clueless, and lack talent.
Britney Spears: Here parents should have sat her down a
long time ago and told her that she should think more about
an education than giving little boys hard-ons.
David Letterman: He treats musicians like armpits. His
style of comedy is dry, useless, and really not funny.
Hollywood: They don't need to complain about big corporate
scandal when they've been "raping" the industry since it's
humble beginnings. They only function on money, money, and
more money. It's sickening. (MoJo interjects: Um, Joni
that's what corporations like to do..PROFIT! Don't make
money..have no corporation. See how that works??)
Of course, Madonna was "hurt" because she has nothing
but respect for Joni. Well, life sucks to be the material girl,
Huh? 
Say it ain't so, Britney!!
Um, it appears that Britney Spears may not be a virgin.
(MoJo is of course very "stunned" by this revelation)
It seems that Britney told a French tabloid. (Of course,
wasn't she thinking about the fact that some English speaking
person would actually translate from French to English??)
She's tired of "living in a shell" and she wants to have a
"normal life". She doesn't want to be remembered as a
"bimbo", but someone that contributed a lot to the music
scene. (Britney, please see my above post) \ 
The First Annual Sexiest Male Shirtless Day
Yes, MoJo will be tracking this contest and I will be
bringing you "up to date" reports about the contestants.
I will be of course finding out, um, what they think about
world peace, water pollution. birth control, and um...
yes, I will be letting you know what they think of OJ Simpson
and the manatee-harassment case. Of course, this is a very
serious contest and must be treated as such. So? Be looking
for the updates starting tomorrow, Ladies!! Woohoo!! 
The Commander In Chief, President George W. Bush
I'm leaving his picture here because MoJo's mom is
lurking and I'm sure she will be somewhat disturbed that
I'm going to be very busy tomorrow keeping the Canteen
Girlz and our brave military women up to date regarding
the Shirtless Contest. What can I say, mom?
It's for the Ladies!!
Thank You
and
GOD BLESS YOU!! |
