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DFU SONG: Teenager in Love (in love with Scott Ritter)
DFU SONG PARODIES | 1-2003 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

Posted on 01/22/2003 10:07:38 AM PST by doug from upland

NOTE: although I make light of this and some might think there was no harm no foul because he really didn't meet a little girl, child stalkers need to do serious jail time and perhaps be chemically castrated. If William Scott Ritter Junior is really innocent and the perp is another guy, then this song is about the other guy named Scott Ritter who was arrested twice. Parents, do you know what your child is doing on the Internet? You had better know.

==================================

MIDI - TEENAGER IN LOVE

I just turned 14 years old…I love the Internet
I chat with older guys who sure make my panties wet

Some day we'll meet down at Burger King
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing

My mom and daddy warned me that men are sometimes sick
I'm really hoping he's…perverted like Slick

Some day we'll meet down at Burger King
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing

I'm really excited…we had another long chat
He says he's ambidextrous…oh, I can't wait for that

I had Mel Reynolds call me once from inside his prison cell
He said the day he's getting out…he wants me to ring his bell

Some day we'll meet down at Burger King
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing

I'm really excited…we had another long chat
He says he's ambidextrous…oh, I can't wait for that

His co-author I wish he'd bring…I would like to watch two men
That is, if he can find the time…he's busy on CNN

Some day we'll meet down at Burger King
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: iraq; looneybin; pervert; saddamtoy; wmd
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1 posted on 01/22/2003 10:07:38 AM PST by doug from upland
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To: TLBSHOW
Smile.
2 posted on 01/22/2003 10:07:58 AM PST by doug from upland (May the Clintons live their remaining days in orange jumpsuits)
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To: doug from upland
I heard you on Sean Hannity's show yesterday, GOOD JOB
3 posted on 01/22/2003 10:09:48 AM PST by MJY1288 (No Re-Runs of Bad Movies)
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To: All
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4 posted on 01/22/2003 10:10:56 AM PST by Support Free Republic (Your support keeps Free Republic going strong!)
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To: doug from upland
You are worst than Ritter. Hang it up.
5 posted on 01/22/2003 10:12:11 AM PST by duckln
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To: All
Mrs. DFU and I made sure we knew what our daughter was doing on the Internet at home. We could not supervise her, of course, at school but she was brought up with the values that made us confident she was not going to get into trouble.
6 posted on 01/22/2003 10:12:47 AM PST by doug from upland (May the Clintons live their remaining days in orange jumpsuits)
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To: duckln
You are worst than Ritter. Hang it up.

==============================================

First, a grammar tip -- it is "worse," not "worst."

Second, if writing a parody to attack a sicko who is doing damage to this country as we prepare for war makes me "worst" than him, I look at your value system with disgust and contempt.

7 posted on 01/22/2003 10:17:59 AM PST by doug from upland (May the Clintons live their remaining days in orange jumpsuits)
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To: duckln
Ritter is a pervert.

Doug is a master song writer.

What are you? A Ritter fan?
8 posted on 01/22/2003 10:19:31 AM PST by TLBSHOW
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To: doug from upland
Your disclaimer note is almost as fun as the parody...good work!
9 posted on 01/22/2003 10:20:31 AM PST by ErnBatavia ((Bumperootus!))
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To: ErnBatavia
EB, through parody I hope the message was taken seriously. Men in mid-life crisis, buy a fast red sports car and let little girls alone.
10 posted on 01/22/2003 10:23:07 AM PST by doug from upland (May the Clintons live their remaining days in orange jumpsuits)
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To: doug from upland
LOL!!
11 posted on 01/22/2003 10:32:40 AM PST by cake_crumb (What would we do without FR? Don't wait to find out. Become a monthly donor.)
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To: TLBSHOW
What are you? A Ritter fan?

No, and I'm not a 'sick' rapper either, as DFU is in this case.

The case has gone through the system, and Ritter is not a priest, there's no point trilling yourself by appling triple kangaroo punishment.

The fact that DFU can fantisize his 'mind' to come up with this gives me serious doubt as to his basic orientations. He could better apply himself than regaling in his vindictiveness.

12 posted on 01/22/2003 10:33:55 AM PST by duckln
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To: doug from upland
I knew you'd be doing songs on the subject, I just didn't realize how many.
13 posted on 01/22/2003 10:35:37 AM PST by techcor
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To: doug from upland
"Mrs. DFU and I made sure we knew what our daughter was doing on the Internet at home. We could not supervise her, of course, at school but she was brought up with the values that made us confident she was not going to get into trouble."

As Hubby and I did with our two girls. Didn't stop us from worrying anyway.

I like your note at the top. It's important for ALL parents (and those who might become parents someday) to know that children ARE victimized by perverted adults they meet on the Internet. Scott Ritter's case may be the most public right not, but it's by no means the only one.

14 posted on 01/22/2003 10:37:21 AM PST by cake_crumb (What would we do without FR? Don't wait to find out. Become a monthly donor.)
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To: duckln
"The case has gone through the system, and Ritter is not a priest, there's no point trilling yourself by appling triple kangaroo punishment."

So you're saying it's ok to lure kids with intent to abuse them as long as you're not a PRIEST??

15 posted on 01/22/2003 10:40:33 AM PST by cake_crumb (What would we do without FR? Don't wait to find out. Become a monthly donor.)
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To: cake_crumb
No, not at all. It seems that priests are persecuted to
ridiculous ends as is the case with Ridder. I can
understand the perpensity of 'bigots' presecuting the
Catholic church, but what's the point of persecuting Ritter.
Yet, DFU is having Gorbasim.
16 posted on 01/22/2003 10:54:33 AM PST by duckln
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To: duckln
No, and I'm not a 'sick' rapper either, as DFU is in this case. The case has gone through the system, and Ritter is not a priest, there's no point trilling yourself by appling triple kangaroo punishment.

The fact that DFU can fantisize his 'mind' to come up with this gives me serious doubt as to his basic orientations. He could better apply himself than regaling in his vindictiveness.

==============================

Oh, my.

First: TEENAGER IN LOVE is a rock and roll tune, not rap. Rap stinks.

Second: "applying," not "appling."

Third: No, according to the reports, it was Ritter who wanted to be "trilling" himself.

Fourth: is triple kangaroo punishment like double secret probation?

Fifth: "fantasize," not "fantisize." One doesn't "fantisize" his mind. You can "fantisize" in your mind. This is not a fantasy. It was composed after reading the TV, radio, and news accounts.

Sixth: Serious doubt about my orientation? Gee. I love my wife and kids.

Seventh: thanks for the advice about how I can apply myself. This is not vidictive --- it is mocking. As my son-in-law heads for the Gulf on the USS ROOSEVELT, I take this stuff personally. Ritter and the peace a-holes are the ones who are going to cause us to go to war. We can't send mixed signals. Hussein is counting on a peace movement to change the will of our president. The game is over for him when he realizes with 100% certainty that this president means what he says and the maggot infested dope smoking Birkenstock wearing lowlife scum marching in the street won't affect the decision.

Your grammar, spelling, and logic need work. You're not a 14-year-old on mommy's computer, are you?

17 posted on 01/22/2003 10:59:22 AM PST by doug from upland (May the Clintons live their remaining days in orange jumpsuits)
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To: doug from upland
I caught it right away when I hit the button --- vindictive.
18 posted on 01/22/2003 11:00:03 AM PST by doug from upland (May the Clintons live their remaining days in orange jumpsuits)
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To: duckln
Do you feel better now? What BS!
19 posted on 01/22/2003 11:02:31 AM PST by TLBSHOW
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To: duckln
No, not at all. It seems that priests are persecuted to ridiculous ends as is the case with Ridder. I can understand the perpensity of 'bigots' presecuting the Catholic church, but what's the point of persecuting Ritter.
Yet, DFU is having Gorbasim.

====================================

Priests persecuted to ridiculous ends? Are you out of your mind? I am Catholic. What has happened in my church is embarrassing and disgusting. With a priest, a man who is trusted, it is one strike and you are out. You touch a little boy or girl and you go to jail. You cover it up and you also face criminal prosecution.

20 posted on 01/22/2003 11:04:15 AM PST by doug from upland (May the Clintons live their remaining days in orange jumpsuits)
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