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"Some women get flowers, but my wife is getting my vasectomy," the 31-year-old father of two said in a statement. "She's got to be one of the luckiest women in London: it's the most romantic thing I've ever done."

I think it is clear from this statement that he is not doing "it" for her. How he can see having his genitals disfigured as romantic is beyond me. The certain truth is that no man really has a vasectomy to help his wife out,(even though he may think this is what he is doing.) Ultimately it is so he can have sex when he wants to, with out the potential consequence (once thought of as a good) of having a child.

I know this because I once had a vasectomy thinking I was doing something for my wife, so she would not have to undergo a tubal ligation. But the thinking on this is wrong. There is nothing necessary about the sterilization of one or both spouses. Good marriage is about sacrificing for the other. If both partners are in on the deal, both benefit immeasurably. If the couple has decided (leaving out whether I personally think there reasons are valid or not) that the two children they have are all they can properly care for, then they have better alternatives than sterilization.

First of all sterilization is permanent and not always are such decisions about number of children. Secondly, sterilization says something about the relationship between the spouses. For example, I the husband have watched my wife suffer as she delivered our two precious children into this world. Pregnancy was tough and the delivery painful even to watch and most assuredlyu for her to endure. Which says I love you more: 1. 'I want to get sterilized so that you, dear, will not have to go through that pain and I will still be able to ask for sex whenever I want it.' or 2. 'I do not want you to suffer, dear, but I appreciate the value of your suffering and the children that came from it. I, too will sacrifice for you in many ways, including physically showing my love for you without the "need" for sexual intercourse everytime. I can wait for a time when you are ready.' Sometimes the things we say with our actions are more powerful than that which we say with words.

My own story of change on this issue was dramatic. I realized that ultimately, my vasectomy that I had once thought was an act of selflessness, was actually and ultimately selfish. I urge other husbands who may be considering this 'selfless' act to reconsider. Would you be willing to do something more selfless and abstain from sex when your wife is fertile? Could self control in this area of your marriage, help you to achieve self control in your anger or other areas that many of us struggle with? Then maybe your wife truly will be the "one of the luckiest women."