"Dear Mr. Umbgasi,
"I was quite surprised to hear from you. You see, I have a very awkward problem. I work on a 'Special Access Program' run by the US Department of Defense. This particular program involved purchasing large numbers of 'sterile' weapons that cannot be traced back to the US, and distributing them to various armed revolutionary groups fighting on behalf of US interests under the guise of the 'War on Terror.'
"The problem is that the program was rather hastily shut down, but not until after a sizable shipment of weapons and ammunition (worth about $300,000,000 US on the global arms black market) arrived at the US Customs bonded warehouse facility at San Pedro, California. These weapons include surface-to-air missiles, mortars, small arms, and rocket-propelled grenades. When the program was closed out, the documentation for this shipment was lost.
"These weapons are good quality, and they are now essentially available to me for free--if I can get someone to sign off on an end-user certificate to release them for export.
"As am officer of a major bank, I'm sure you have many connections with your nation's government. If I could prevail upon you to discreetly ask around to see if anyone in your nation's defense establishment might be willing to sign off on an end-user certificate, and thus allow the shipment to leave the US for your country. I can accompany the shipment. Once there, we can arrange for further transshipment of these weapons to various paying customers and split the proceeds."
Priceless! ROFL!