Yep, you're right. I've tried to learn French 3 times now but every time I tried, for some reason, the feeling to give up swept over me, and I surrendered to the feeling.:^)
Don't worry my friend. These rules in Clouseau speech will have people thinking you can speak French in no time. There was also a sketch on National Lampoon Radio where they described "ow you say..." techniques to sound like you know French.
Inspector Clouseau's rules of speech (How to speak Clouseauese)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule #1: Any word with a 'ah', 'oh', or 'oo' sound, you must add a short 'eh' sound before it.
Examples: bomb = "behm", phone = 'pheone', room = 'rheum'--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule #2: Any word with a 'uh' sound, you must replace it with a 'ih' sound.
Ex. monkey = 'minkey.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule #3: Any word with a long 'ay' or 'ee' sound, replace it with a short 'ah' sound, but don't apply rule #1.
Ex. crazy = 'crahzy', repair = 'rahpair'.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule #4: For a past tense word ending with an 'ed', you must split the word in the wrong place or accent the wrong syllable.
Ex. solved = 'sol-ved', received = 'rah-ceived'.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Review: "Yeuw have rah-ceived a bimp". Can you see the application of rules #1,2,3 and 4?.
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Rule #5: To reflect anger or dissatifaction with an object, animal or person, add the word "swine" before it.
Ex. 'swine' moat, 'swine' parrot, 'swine' maid.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule #6: If you are ever presented with information or facts you are unaware of, immediately respond as if you already had knowledge of it.
Ex. "Yes, I kneuw that... I kneuw that". (remember to apply rule #1 to the word 'know')--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule #7: Any person who does not understand a word you are saying must be referred to as a fool or an idiot.
Ex. "Yes, a rheumm... that is what I have been saying you idiot!"