The New Stupidity

http://alec.unitedstates.com/ ^ | March 3, 2003 | Alec Mouhibian

[Alec Mouhibian]

I am a eighteen-year-old high school senior. Comments appreciated.

[LiteKeeper]

read later

[packrat01]

You're not a product of a public skool ejukashun, are you? I didn't read the whole thing. Skipped through, and caught a few paragraphs throughout. A few thoughts:

Post shorter essays more often.

Focus on one topic per post.

Sometimes, use two or more short words in place of one large word.

Let your audience deduce your intelligence; don't beat 'em with it. You'll gain a host of intelectual peers, and a few superiors.

Offer a one sentence synopsis of monosyllabic words, that the liberals may know you're making fun of them.

[packrat01]

(As for assertions of a 'widening income gap', studying basic math proves that claim to be meaningless, as a form of gap-expansion is consonant with prosperity. If I had 10 beers and you had 100, and our wealth increases ten-fold, our gap widens from 90 to 900. On the same token, if our wealth decreases ten-fold, our gap narrows from 90 to 9. In which case am I drunker?)

Maybe the kid can hold his booze?

[gcruse]

Bombastic for an 18 year old. Like the man said, shorter essays will help, but keep it up. I admire your vocabulary.

[Jhoffa_]

While I can appreciate the effort put forth by the author.. There's absolutely no way I am going to read all this.

I will say that what you posted sounds allot like Marxist propaganda though.

[DensaMensa]

Your tome prints out at about 17 pages. Go back and create a 2 page version, with a link to this tome for those few who might be interested enough to plow through all your detail.

There is a reason why many employers will not read a resume longer than 1 page. It has to do with the applicants ability to distinguish between what is more important and what is less important. If applicants with a lifetime worth of experience can make their points in one page, you can make yours in two.

[Jhoffa_]

PS: Upon a second read, maybe not..

I withdraw my comment until I have looked it over in it's entirety.. Which will have to be later.

Apologies.

[CheneyChick]

How do you define ?one?? Or the question should be: Is one really one?

Sorry, Hon, I only got as far as the third paragraph and read the above line. It gave me Clintonian shudders so I had to stop. I'm still trying to figure out if I know what is is, or was.

Cheers, CC :)

[Alec Mouhibian]

Please keep in mind that this essay covers many sub-topics under one general thesis. It cannot be made too much shorter -- let alone to two pages! -- without eliminating all but one mentioned issue. There are many important things that are each steps in their own. This isn't meant to be a column. Please read it accordingly, and with some time to dispose.

[sourcery]

For a screed of this length, an abstract and/or executive summary is mandatory. I haven't read your article yet, although I will--but only because you're 18, and I remember liking some earlier work of yours.

[PGalt]

I down III to go...very good so far. I will read the rest in the morning.

[Alec Mouhibian]

For the absence of a summary, I apologize. I didn't want to lengthen the damn thing any more. Let the following stand as a broad summary:

An epochal essay on the lies, methods, threats, and true nature of the most anti-American, anti-liberty force of torpitude--the elitist-intelligentsia--and why the title's no vindictive.

Also, for full, accurate disclosure, I am actually "17," though am turning 18 in three days.

[DensaMensa]

It cannot be made too much shorter -- let alone to two pages! -- without eliminating all but one mentioned issue. There are many important things that are each steps in their own. This isn't meant to be a column. Please read it accordingly, and with some time to dispose.

You lose! {ggg}.

It's time for a reality check. If no one reads your thoughts, YOU LOSE!

It doesn't matter how important YOU think they are, unread YOU LOSE!

If indeed you are unwilling to condense your thoughts then you are writing in the wrong forum. (Ya gotta know where you are in space and time...)

BTW, your FR web site link is set up wrong, and even when corrected the web site doesn't work. Makes it even more unlikely your (silly Marxist) tome will be seriously considered.

Also, when you do chop it down, cut the pretentious "academic language" BS. It may impress a few twits and nimnuts here and there, but no serious scholar will even look at it. Pick up a copy of any good writing style manual and you will see how bad your attempt at flowerly and learned style really is.

The key to successful writing is EDIT, EDIT, EDIT, and when you are done editing then EDIT SOME MORE.

[DensaMensa]

An epochal essay on the lies, methods, threats, and true nature of the most anti-American, anti-liberty force of torpitude--the elitist-intelligentsia--and why the title's no vindictive.

OKAY! Now you are on the right track! Next, change those silly big emotion-loaded words to little words that mean the same thing and you will on the right track. (Study some truly GREAT and EFFECTIVE writers as found on the editorial page of the Wall Street Journal and you won't go wrong.)

[johniegrad]

Alec, I read the first paragraph and that's all I could handle. Too much emphasis on the thesaurus.

I spent 4 years in a private men's school, 4 years in a private medical school, 4 years in a residency training program and 16 years in an academic, multispecialty group medical practice.

Well educated people spend far less time trying to impress people with vocabulary. Your message is lost in your attempts to convince others of how intelligent you are. Don't get me wrong, I think you're probably a reasonably smart guy. However, simplify your language. I've had a lot more education than you have and gave up after your first paragraph, not because it was too difficult to read but because you were trying too hard.

Clarify your message. Try to convince people of how simple what you have to say can be. It will go a lot further in promoting your ideas.

[sourcery]

force of torpitude

Did you mean 'turpitude'? Or do you mean to say that liberalism is putting the public to sleep?

[Alec Mouhibian]

Thanks for the correction. It's turpitude. Though the other isn't inaccurate, either.

[PistolPaknMama]

(Note: This is a long essay, so it is highly recommended you print and read.)

Translated: If you were educated in government school, we can't afford the bandwith.

[oldtimer]

I think you did a great job!

If you have a chance with your "instructors" you should get a 100.

Keep up the good work.

jhoffa was all screwed up with his comments.