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Takoma the dolphin is Awol
timesonline (UK) ^ | 3/29/03 | Daniel McGrory

Posted on 03/29/2003 11:32:25 AM PST by Rebelbase

THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected.

Takoma, the Atlantic bottle-nosed dolphin, had been in Iraq for 48 hours when he went missing on his first operation to snoop out mines.

His handler, Petty Officer Taylor Whitaker, had proudly showed off Takoma’s skills and told how the 22-year-old dolphin was among the most pampered creatures in the American military.

Takoma and his fellow mine hunters have a special diet, regular medical checks and their own sleeping quarters, which is more than can be said for the vast majority of the military whose domestic arrangements are basic, to say the least.

The wayward Takoma set out on the first mission with his comrade, Makai, watched by the cameras as the pair of dolphins somersaulted over the inflatable dinghy carrying their handlers.

Takoma’s role was to sweep the way clear for the arrival of the Royal Fleet Auxiliary, Sir Galahad. US officials had said that dolphins, first used in Vietnam, were a far better bet than all the technology on board the flotilla of ships.

Petty Officer Whitaker had tempted fate by saying: “Why would they go missing when they have the best food and daily spruce-ups and health checks?” Two hours later Takoma had gone Awol. “Twenty-four hours is not unusual,” a nervous Petty Officer Whitaker said. “After all, he may meet some local company.”

Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.


TOPICS: Extended News; Foreign Affairs
KEYWORDS: amphibdesgru; dolphins; mineclearing; mines; navy; navydolphin; seals; specialops; takoma; ua; workingdogs
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Maybe Takoma met a cute dark-eyed arabain bottlenose and forgot all about the war.
1 posted on 03/29/2003 11:32:25 AM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Rebelbase
Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.

After he's had enough of his lady dolphin, he'll be back.

2 posted on 03/29/2003 11:34:49 AM PST by b4its2late (I'm really easy to get along with, once you people learn to worship me.)
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To: Rebelbase
He had gathered enough information on human military operations and returned to his people to prepare for the coming takeover of the planet and establishment of the Global Dolphin Imperium.
3 posted on 03/29/2003 11:35:51 AM PST by merrin
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To: merrin
He got drafted by Miami?
4 posted on 03/29/2003 11:38:19 AM PST by talleyman (Memory is the second thing to go and I can't remember the first)
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To: Rebelbase
"So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish" (Douglas Adams)
5 posted on 03/29/2003 11:39:57 AM PST by anguish (while science catches up.... mysticism!)
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To: merrin
Yeah, i'd forgot about that. Is that connected with the dolphins with thumbs cloning project?
6 posted on 03/29/2003 11:40:03 AM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Rebelbase
Rush was saying it shows that the dolphin knows its a voluntary job if he never came back. I bet he will return however.
7 posted on 03/29/2003 11:40:11 AM PST by smith288 (Visit my gallery http://www.ejsmithweb.com/fr/hollywood/hollywood.php)
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To: Rebelbase
Yeah, i'd forgot about that. Is that connected with the dolphins with thumbs cloning project?

"Cloning"? You're nuts!

8 posted on 03/29/2003 11:40:48 AM PST by merrin
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To: b4its2late
LOL.. I wonder if he has any companionship back in San Diego? Could be he didn't know how to handle the distraction of chicks floating by as he was trying to get his work done.

9 posted on 03/29/2003 11:43:51 AM PST by Canticle_of_Deborah
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To: Rebelbase
"Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish."
10 posted on 03/29/2003 11:44:16 AM PST by spodefly (This is my tag line. There are many like it, but this one is mine.)
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To: Rebelbase

The Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy was more than Takoma could take.
11 posted on 03/29/2003 11:45:16 AM PST by ShadowDancer
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To: Rebelbase
So long and thanks for the fish!
12 posted on 03/29/2003 11:45:38 AM PST by Samwise (prayers for our troops)
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To: talleyman
"He got drafted by Miami?"


13 posted on 03/29/2003 11:45:57 AM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Rebelbase
DAMN it Takoma MINES not MATES. stupid damn dol..........
14 posted on 03/29/2003 11:48:53 AM PST by HoustonCurmudgeon (Compassionate Conservative Curmudgeon)
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To: Rebelbase
surprised nobody say it yet-"born free" how the song goes.
15 posted on 03/29/2003 11:52:50 AM PST by green team 1999
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To: Rebelbase
THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected.

Hey, whadda ya goin' do? It's spring! (wink,wink, nudge,nudge)

16 posted on 03/29/2003 11:53:27 AM PST by yankeedame ("Oh, I can take it, but I'd much rather dish it out.")
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To: Rebelbase
Hope he is not sleeping with the peoples..
17 posted on 03/29/2003 11:56:53 AM PST by Dog
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To: Rebelbase
The Defense Department is downplaying reports that Takoma had been acting aloof and had recently asked to be called by a new name "Mohammad Al-Flipper".

Capt. Omar Farooq, one of the Defense Department's 14 Muslim chaplins, acknowledged he had been counseling Takoma in recent weeks, but denied involvement in the animal's dissapearance, saying "Al-Flipper and I are just as patriotic as you infidels".

18 posted on 03/29/2003 11:57:39 AM PST by dagnabbit
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To: Rebelbase
ROTFL
19 posted on 03/29/2003 11:58:23 AM PST by DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet ("Eleven. Exactly. One louder." - Nigel Tufnel)
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To: yankeedame
lol! he's 'twiterpated'!
20 posted on 03/29/2003 12:00:25 PM PST by N8VTXNinWV (Praying for Wisdom, Honor & Might for GWB)
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To: Rebelbase
THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected... His handler, Petty Officer Taylor Whitaker...

The usually-reliable Times isn't much better at getting the the services straight than our own service-ignorant press. The fish belongs to the US Navy, as one who did not know might still infer from the rank of its handler. Still, it is a funny story.

This costly episode reminds me of the oil-soaked seal which was rehabilitated at unbelievable expense -- only to be eaten by a killer whale moments after its ceremonious release...

21 posted on 03/29/2003 12:07:23 PM PST by Always A Marine
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To: Rebelbase
ROFTLOL! Great pic...
22 posted on 03/29/2003 12:10:27 PM PST by ewing
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To: Always A Marine
"This costly episode reminds me of the oil-soaked seal which was rehabilitated at unbelievable expense -- only to be eaten by a killer whale moments after its ceremonious release..."

I fell for that one too, when I first heard it, but alas, as are most of the good stories, its an Urban Legend.

Never happened.
23 posted on 03/29/2003 12:10:57 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Always A Marine
"This costly episode reminds me of the oil-soaked seal which was rehabilitated at unbelievable expense -- only to be eaten by a killer whale moments after its ceremonious release..."

I fell for that one too, when I first heard it, but alas, as are most of the good stories, its an Urban Legend.

Never happened.
24 posted on 03/29/2003 12:11:07 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Always A Marine
Ah a little R&R. As soon as he spreads his seed a bit, he'll be back with blood shot eyes, a headache and new dedication to the job at hand.
25 posted on 03/29/2003 12:13:52 PM PST by jwalsh07
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To: Rebelbase

26 posted on 03/29/2003 12:14:24 PM PST by Rome2000
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To: Rebelbase
No I think it did happen, I heard Rush talk about it on the radio the day after it happened. Although my evidence is hearsay I don't think he would have repeated the story unless it was verified.
27 posted on 03/29/2003 12:14:34 PM PST by Liebenator
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To: Rebelbase
Sadly, Takoma may be MIA, but don't impugn his dolphanity by calling him AWOL.
28 posted on 03/29/2003 12:14:55 PM PST by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote Life Support for others.)
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To: dagnabbit
"Al-Flipper and I are just as patriotic as you infidels".



I hear he was requesting a diet change and 5 breaks a day of at least 15 minutes
29 posted on 03/29/2003 12:15:48 PM PST by Taffini (I like Tony Soprano even though he is a fat-boy)
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To: Rebelbase
The dolphin's handlers need to get one of those "ooga-ooga"
horns that Tommy used to use get Flipper's attention when ever he needed to "speak" to him......
30 posted on 03/29/2003 12:18:15 PM PST by musicman
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To: Rebelbase
Takoma will be back..when we least expect it to turn the tide!
31 posted on 03/29/2003 12:19:20 PM PST by ewing
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To: jwalsh07
Yeah, but the new tattoo will be there forever.
32 posted on 03/29/2003 12:19:41 PM PST by small voice in the wilderness
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To: musicman
...gee...now that I think about it,Bud used that horn more
that Tommy...
33 posted on 03/29/2003 12:20:47 PM PST by musicman
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To: Rebelbase
Just like a sailor, saw a good looking prospect and took off after her.
34 posted on 03/29/2003 12:22:32 PM PST by gulfcoast6 (You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth.)
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To: Rebelbase
How long before "Baghdad Bob", the Minister of Information, is showing a dolphin on Iraqi TV claiming that it's Takoma? (Though how he'll segue from a dolphin to insulting Rumsfeld is beyond me.)
35 posted on 03/29/2003 12:22:41 PM PST by Redcloak (All work and no FReep makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no FReep make s Jack a dul boy. Allwork an)
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To: small voice in the wilderness
A seal on his fin?
36 posted on 03/29/2003 12:23:50 PM PST by jwalsh07
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To: musicman
The Defense Department is downplaying reports that Takoma had been acting aloof and had recently asked to be called by a new name "Mohammad Al-Flipper".

Capt. Omar Farooq, one of the Defense Department's 14 Muslim chaplins, acknowledged he had been counseling Takoma in recent weeks, but denied involvement in the animal's dissapearance, saying "Al-Flipper and I are just as patriotic as you infidels

OHHHHHH I ALMOST FELL FROM MY CHAIR THAT WAS TOO FUNNY HAHAHAHA LMBO!!!!!!!!!
37 posted on 03/29/2003 12:26:05 PM PST by ElisabethInCincy
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To: Liebenator; Rebelbase
No I think it did happen, I heard Rush talk about it on the radio the day after it happened. Although my evidence is hearsay I don't think he would have repeated the story unless it was verified.

Nope, Rebelbase is right. Snopes.com lists the seal/killer whale event as a fake news story. Though it didn't happen, it does have the ring of truth, doesn't it?!

38 posted on 03/29/2003 12:28:25 PM PST by Always A Marine
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To: Rebelbase
Time to call in the 2nd string


39 posted on 03/29/2003 12:30:05 PM PST by jriemer (We are a Republic not a Democracy)
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To: Always A Marine
I heard Rush mention it way back when the Exxon Valdez clean-up was happening.
40 posted on 03/29/2003 12:31:25 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Rebelbase
you are too much.That is a funny picture!
41 posted on 03/29/2003 12:32:15 PM PST by Minty
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To: Rebelbase
He prolly saw some she dolphin wearing a thong, delivering him pizza and decided on a little oral sex and a cigar!
42 posted on 03/29/2003 12:33:52 PM PST by irish guard
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To: Rebelbase
I have seen it debunked, but I think Rush still stands behind the story as accurate.
43 posted on 03/29/2003 12:35:46 PM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult ("Read Hillary's hips. I never had sex with that woman.")
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To: Minty; All
I think these are the guys that are responsible for a huge portion of the funny photoshopped stuff on the net.

Fark.com

Look for the Photoshop logos in the thread list. I even think they are the ones who created the tourist guy standing on top of the WTC.

44 posted on 03/29/2003 12:37:15 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: irish guard
Happens every time, some seductive Arabian Persian Gulf Bottle Neck dolphin starts reading Takoma an autographed copy of 'Leaves of Grass' and suddenly AWOL/ MIA for 48 hours..
45 posted on 03/29/2003 12:39:14 PM PST by ewing
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To: ewing
Yep. I fear he hasn't thought of the dangers, though...I speak of Arabian Tuna Fishermen...not bound by the "Dolphin-Free Tuna" labels on their cans...
46 posted on 03/29/2003 12:42:21 PM PST by small voice in the wilderness
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To: ewing
And you and I both know darn well that Takoma has some bitch of a bottlenose wife, with really fat flippers at home who wants all the glory for herself....
47 posted on 03/29/2003 12:42:51 PM PST by irish guard
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To: Rebelbase
probably got killed by the iraqis. when you tell people you're using a given asset, sometimes the asset gets neutralized. less talk and more action would be nice. we should just be quiet and do the damn mission!!!
48 posted on 03/29/2003 12:43:31 PM PST by faithincowboys (God Bless Our Troops!)
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To: Rebelbase

49 posted on 03/29/2003 12:48:00 PM PST by ewing
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To: Rebelbase


50 posted on 03/29/2003 12:52:38 PM PST by ewing
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