USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Canteen Goes West ~ April 8, 2003

April 8, 2003 | LaDivaLoca

[beachn4fun]

Howdy Ms. Feather.......Oooohhhh, love the Great pics.

[snippy_about_it]

Enrique, your 2 cents is always worth a million! :)

[tomkow6]

A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"

Rancher: "This dog don't talk!"

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin alright"

Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)"

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good." He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Rancher: (Look of disbelief)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Rancher: "Horses don't talk!"

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it goin?"

Horse: "Cool."

Rancher: (an even wilder look of shock)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at rancher)

Horse: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking." He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Rancher: (total look of amazement)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?"

Rancher: (stuttering, and hardly able to talk)...... "Th-Th-Them sheep ain't nothin but liars!!!"

[beachn4fun]

Howdy cardinal4

COME IN, TAKE OFF YOUR HAT, SHAKE OFF THE DUST, AND STAY AWHILE. WANT SOME COFFEE?

[cardinal4]

Good Morning to you! Yes a little cream. But hurry please, I have a plane to catch!

[JohnHuang2]

Gracias ;) Y buenos dias! :)

[JohnHuang2]

Thanks :)

[beachn4fun]

OH TOMKOW

[weldgophardline]

Good morning to all. May this be a great day for our troops and all of us.

[Soaring Feather]

Good morning beachn!

Thank you.

[tomkow6]

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse.
"I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first.
"He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back."
"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now."
Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted,


"Audi, partners!"

[beachn4fun]

Ahhh, sorry, not cream here. Let me go out back and see if the cows are ready...... YUP, looks about ready. Do you still have time?

[beachn4fun]

GOOD MORNING. GO TROOPS.....

[grantswank]

HILLARY FACELIFT?


I’m seeing my shrink this afternoon. I was putting it off till the fall; but I know now that I can’t last that long. Angst up to the nostrils. Vivid messages are coming through to the psyche front lobe. Must get to the couch afore I fall off altogether. Ever been there? Well, if you have, you know that breakdown waits for no one; put-off equals little men in white coats at the door.

So off to see Dr. Put It Together.

The reason? Well, you’d never guess it. I know I’ve been in the pastorate for a good long time, more years than many of you readers have been breathing. And that job in itself can surely crack a brain or two. (Don’t tell me it’s not a “job” but a “calling.” I already know that. But at the moment, I can call it a job if I want to. Have checked in with the Higher-ups on terminology and got the thumbs up).

No. It’s not the pastorate — phones ringing night and day, gossipy board members plotting mutiny, ushers late for ushering, war in the music department, Sunday school teachers failing to show up and not phoning ahead of no-shows, complaints from laity who just don’t understand that there really are not 40 hours in a day, and so forth and so forth. But that calls for a Book Magnus; no clock for that at this juncture.

So it’s not the job. It’s not the long winter. It’s not a blood shot eye that stared me in the face this morning when shaving. Nope. Not even a neighbor who complains that I play Sinatra too loud.

It’s Hillary. I really am distressed about Hillary. Can’t take it any more. With the thong and everything, I don’t think that one more weight upon a shoulder can keep from becoming a chip. I’ve tried, but to no avail. Hillary once more has got to my nerve hot bars and they are steaming aplenty.

Now that’s why I’m going to Dr. Put It Together. I don’t know if the steam is from anger or pity. And being a clergyman with ethics and morality at the top of my extremely sensitive persona, I have to sort this out or all soul caves in. Further, being near retirement, I can’t have a cave-in afore rockin’ chair comes a-knockin’. Know what I mean? Psycho-stuff big time here.

Anyhow, Hillary is at it again. I mean Bill’s lied to her more times than eggs don’t turn over shiny in the skillet. Recall when she went on TV to defend hubby, saying that it was the political right that was messing things up in the Oval Office? I saw it. I burnt it into my CD memory. There she was on the visitor’s chair, facing Rosie. Rosie was all compassion, ears and leaning over. “It’s the political right,” Hillary said with strained countenance.

I had a strong hunch that she was "off". After all, she was pointing her accusing figure at me and company. I did not like that one twit. Nevertheless, she had to have her time in the Rosie glow. So she went for it.

But you know what happened after that. The thong. Yep. It was the thong. So much for the political right doing in her husband. It was something else, for sure. And naturally a minister doesn’t want to get gross and all that, so has to leave it to parishioners to fill in the well-media informed blanks on that faux pas.

Anyhow, Hillary surely has had it. Not to mention all those tabloid pix showing Chelsea drunk and sliding off a barstool and in love and out of love and escapading around India with mommy on a mother-daughter get-closer thingy.

God knows how much we parents have to bear when it comes to our kids acting like hellcats. So I felt sorry for Hillary in all that child-upbringing stuff for, let’s face it, when it came down to it, there wasn’t much support at home base — even the White House — when hubby was with The Thong and all that kind of exposure.

Well, now it comes out that Hillary is late. She’s late. And you know that Hillary is Ms. Perfect. She knows everything — from health care for the nation to feminism advancements to pro-choice double-talk to old time Methodist upbringing with Bible at the center of life to hobnobbing with the Hollywoodites to freezing out the enemy with one glare that could frost the sun.

But she’s late. Major late.

If there’s anything that gets to my nerves, it’s watching someone else late. I can be late, and I have a history of being late. But, knowing the pain it can bring to those on time, I double-feel when someone else falls into the same major iniquity. So Hillary being late really makes me quiver.

Her book is to come out in August. Not ready. Not even a manuscript showing at the publishers. Not even a title for pre-marketing stuff. Promises promises promises. But no promises upped to book size yet. And this is almost middle April. Rough draft? None, as far as the big boys in the office can spy. Final copy? Give me a break.

Now we all can speculate as to what Hillary has done with the $2.85 million advanced her by a trusting publisher, Simon and Schuster. Further, as the whole world was told some months ago, the total deal will cough up more than $8 million greenbacks. What we could do with those papers to build a village, eh?

Anyhow, it’s not come to hauling Hillary off to court — not yet. But. . .one never knows in this culture of litigation happy face.

In other words, Hillary has failed. She has failed. Not that this is the first time, but, of course Ms. Hillary protesting that she’s never done anything amiss, we all know that humans being mortals, Ms. H has surely lapsed on an occasion or several. But now — before a respected publisher handing over mega bucks! Well, this is just too much.

"We must be off to the printer next month, but the manuscript isn't in yet!" said one Simon and Schuster source last week. "Advance sales are lagging. And there is no title. Without a title it's been difficult to market."

But what is giving me the shakes more than anything is this: One of Hillary’s associates told media the following secret. Well, it’s not a secret any longer for since I read it you could have read it, too. Anyhow, it’s this: “In all fairness, she has been preoccupied with serving New York during these challenging times.” Okay. I can get that. It doesn’t hang together all that tightly, but I at least can try to tolerate that.

Yet it’s what follows that sends me to the couch. The intimate explains: “The writing is wonderful, touching, and will lift Hillary to a new level of respect.”

Now, I don’t know if you can understand this or not, but here goes: That last statement really makes me wanna pop the whole bottle. Know what I mean?”

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL!

"No, Daschle is only THIS tall"

[Valin]

On This Day In History


Birthdates which occurred on April 08:
563 -BC- Gautama Buddha (as celebrated in Japan-Kambutsue)
1460 Ponce de Le¢n searched for fountain of youth, found Florida
1533 Claudio Merulo organist/composer
1605 Philip IV king of Spain & Portugal (1621-65)
1614 El Greco Spain, painter (View of Toledo)
1631 Coirnelis de Heem painter
1692 Giuseppe Tartini Italy, violinist/composer (Trillo del Diavolo)
1726 Lewis Morris signed Decl of Independence
1731 William Williams signed Decl of Independence
1783 John Claudius London England, horticulturist
1798 Dionysios Solomos poet
1816 Frederick William Burton painter
1843 Asger Hamerik [Hammerich], composer
1850 William Henry Welch pathologist
1859 Edmund Husserl Germany, philosopher, founded Phenomenology
1859 William Henry Welch US, pathologist, founded John Hopkins
1869 Harvey Cushing US, neurosurgeon (blood pressure studies)
1880 Victor Schertzinger coposer/director (Uptown NY)
1887 Walter Connolly actor (Good Earth, 5th Avenue Girl)
1889 Sir Adrian Boult Chester England, conductor (BBC Sym Orch)
1893 Mary Pickford [Gladsys Smith], actress (Poor Little Rich Girl)
1898 CM Bowra professor of poetry (Oxford University)
1898 E Y "Yip" Harburg [Isidore Hochberg], lyricist/librettist
19-- Michael Spound Santa Monica Calif, actor (Dave-Hotel)
1902 Josef Krips Vienna Austria, conductor (London Symph 1954-63)
1903 Ilka Chase NYC, actress (Masquerade Party, Trials of O'Brien)
1907 Maurice Stacey chemist
1908 Neil Lawson British high court judge
1910 George Musso NFL guard (Chicago Bears)
1912 Sonja Henie Oslo Norway, ice skater/actress (Olympic-gold-1928,32,36)
1919 Ian Smith PM (Rhodesia)
1920 Erik Pausin Austria, figure skating pairs (Olympics-silver-1936)
1921 Betty Bloomer Ford 1st lady/namesake for Betty Ford Clinic
1921 Virginia O'Brien singer/actress (Thousand Cheers, Ziegfield Girls)
1922 Carmen McRae NYC, singer (Down Beats New Star of 1954)
1923 Edward Mulhare Cork Ireland, actor (Daniel Gregg-Ghost & Mrs Muir)
1923 Franco Corelli Anconia Italy, tenor (Don Jos‚-Carmen)
1925 Shecky Greene Chicago Ill, comedian/actor (Love Machine, Combat)
1928 Eric Porter actor (39 Steps, Anthony & Cleopatra)
1928 Eric Porter London England, actor (Antony & Cleopatra, 39 Steps)
1928 John Gavin LA Calif, actor (Back Street, Psycho, Murder for Sale)
1928 Monty Sunshine bandleader
1929 Jacques Brel singer/actor (Pain in the A__)
1930 Dorothy Tutin London, actress (Importence of Being Ernest, Cromwell)
1930 John Reardon NYC, baritone (Falke-Die Fledermaus)
1930 John Bartholomew Tucker Pa, TV host (Candid Camera, Treasure Island)
1930 Mary Moore principal (St Hilda's College, Oxford)
1931 Dorothy Tutin actress (Importance of Being Ernest, Cromwell)
1933 Fred Ebb lyricist (Cabaret)
1935 Donald Thompsett cricket umpire
1936 Klaus Lowitsch Berlin, actor (Despair, Marriage of Marla Braun)
1937 Seymour Hersh award winning investigative reporter (NY Times)
1938 Lory Patrick Beckley WV, actress (TRina-Tales of Welles Fargo)
1940 John Havlicek Martin's Ferry Ohio, NBA hall-of-famer (Boston Celtics)
1941 Peggy Lennon LA Calif, singer (Lennon Sisters)
1943 J P Kavanaugh racehorse trainer
1943 Michael Bennett aids victim/choreographer (A Chorus Line)
1943 Robby Weaver actor (Stone)
1943 Tony Banks English politician (Lab)
1943 William Garth Morrison Chief scout
1944 Anthony Farrar Hockley military historian
1944 Roger Chapman vocalist (Family-Family Entertainment)
1945 Ian White MEP
1946 Jim (Catfish) Hunter major-league pitcher (A's, Yankees)
1947 Cindy Pickett Norman Okla, actress (Guiding Light, St Elsewhere)
1947 Steve Howe Yes, he plays guitar (Asia, Yes-Roundabout)
1948 Richard Alan Litchfield Mass, bank robber (FBI most wanted)
1949 Jim Lampley Hendersonville NC, newscaster (Monday Night Baseball)
1951 Mel Schachter rocker (Grand Funk Railroad)
1952 Adam Woods rocker (The Fixx)
1954 Gary Carter catcher (Mont Expos, NY Mets)
1954 John Schneider Mt Kisco NY, actor (Bo-Dukes of Hazzard)
1959 Martin Weston cricketeer
1962 Izzy Stradin rocker (Guns 'n' Roses-Welcome to the Jungle)
1963 Alec Stewart cricketer
1963 Julian Lennon John's son/singer (Too Late for Goodbyes)
1967 Robin Wright Dallas Tx, actress (Kelly-Santa Barbara, Princess Bride)

---

Deaths which occurred on April 08:
217 Caracalla [Marcus Aureiius Antoniius], Roman emperor, dies
1143 John II Byzantine emperor, dies in an accident
1794 Marie-Jean-Antoine-Nicholas-Caritat mathematician dies
1890 Junius Morgan philanthropist, dies at 76
1897 Heinrich von Stephan UK politician, dies
1902 Sipyagain Russia's minister of interior is assassinated
1919 Baron Roland E”tv”s physicist, dies
1931 Eric Axel Karlfeldt poet, dies
1935 Edwin Cannan economist, dies
1937 William Henry Hadow author/musicologist, dies
1941 EugŠne-Marcel Pr‚vost novelist, dies
1943 Richard Sears 1st to win US amateur national tennis match, dies at 81
1950 Vaslav Fromich Nijinsky ballet dancer, dies in London
1973 Pablo Picasso artist, dies near Mougins, France, at 91
1976 Phil Ochs rock producer, dies
1977 Frank Milan actor (The Witness), dies at 71
1981 Gen Omar Bradley last 5-star general, dies in NY at 88
1987 Francis C Denebrink US Naval officer (WW I, WW II, Korea) dies at 90
1990 Ryan White hemophiliac aids sufferer, dies at 18. The Ryan White Foundation was founded later in 1991 by Jeanne White and Phil Donahue

---

Reported: MISSING in ACTION


1962 GROOM GEORGE E. STEWARTSVILLE MO.
05/01/62 RELEASED

1962 GABRIEL JAMES JR HONOLULU HI
04/62 REMAINS RECOVERED

1962 MARCHAND WAYNE ELLSWORTH OMAHA NE.
04/68 REMAINS RECOVERED

1962 QUINN FRANCIS BUFFALO NY.
05/01/62 RELEASED

1970 BELLENDORF DIETER GERMANY
1589 SP BALLINDORF?

1970 GENSLUCKNER GEORG AUSTRIA

1970 YIENG UNG LING CAMBODIA
REFNO 1589

1972 RAY JOHNNIE L. PAULS VALLEY OK.
02/12/73 RELEASED BY PRG

1972 WANAT GEORGE K. JR. WATERFFORD CN.
02/12/73 RELEASED BY PRG


POW / MIA Data & Bios supplied by the P.O.W. NETWORK. Skidmore, MO. USA.

---

On this day...
1513 Ponce de Le¢n discovers Florida
1730 1st Jewish congregation in US consecrates synagogue (NY)
1766 1st fire escape patented, wicker basket on a pulley & chain
1789 House of Representives 1st meeting
1802 French Protestant church becomes state-supported & -controlled
1838 Steamship "Great Western" maiden voyage (Bristol England to NYC)
1861 US mint at Dahlonega, Georgia seized by confederacy
1864 Battle of Mansfield, La Federals routed by Gen Richard Taylor
1865 Lee's retreat cut off near Appomattox Court House
1876 The opera "La Gioconda" is produced (Milan)
1893 The critic reports that the ice cream soda is our national drink
1898 Battle of Atbara River, Anglo-Egyptian forces crush 6,000 Sudanese
1904 Entente Cordiale signed by France & England
1908 Herbert Henry Asquith becomes PM of England
1912 Steamers collide in the Nile, drowning 200
1913 17th amendment, requiring direct election of senators, ratified
1914 US & Columbia sign a treaty concerning the Panama Canal Zone
1931 "White Horse Inn" opens in London
1935 Works Progress Administration approved by Congress
1938 H Alikoski discovers asteroid #2911
1943 Detroit Red Wings sweep Boston Bruins for the Stanley Cup
1943 Jomo Kenyatta of Kenya convicted of involvement with Mau Mau
1946 League of Nations assembles for last time
1947 Largest recorded sunspot (7,000) observed
1952 Pres Truman seizes the steel mills to prevent a strike
1954 "By the Beautiful Sea" opens at the Majestic Theater on Broadway
1961 British liner "Dara" explodes in Persian Gulf, kills 236
1964 Unmanned Gemini 1 launched
1966 AFL chooses 36 year old Al Davis as commissioner
1966 OAO 1, the 1st orbiting astronomical observatory, launched
1968 New socialist constitution of East Germany takes effect
1970 Senate rejects Nixon's nomination of Carswell to Supreme Court
1971 1st legal off-track betting system begins (OTB-New York)
1974 Discovery Island opens
1974 Hammerin' Hank Aaron hits 715th HR, breaks Babe Ruth's record
1975 Frank Robinson 1st black baseball mgr (Cleveland, beats NY 5-3)
1978 W Liller discovers asteroid #2449
1979 204th & final episode of "All in the Family"
1980 Islander Potvin's 2 shorthanded goals tie NHL record vs Kings
set NHL rec of 2 shorthanded playoff goals in 1 period
1981 Islanders scored 9 goals against Toronto in playoffs
1982 Penguins 2-Isles 4-Preliminary-Isles hold 2-0 lead
1982 Tracy Caulkins, 19, wins her 36th US swimming title
1985 India files suit against Union Carbide over Bhopal disaster
1986 Clint Eastwood elected mayor of Carmel, California, Make his day
1987 Al Campanis, LA Dodger VP resigns after racial remarks on "Nightline"
1989 Entertainment Tonights Mary Hart marries producer Burt Sugarman
1990 "Twin Peaks" with Peggy Lipton premiers on ABC-TV
1991 Michael Landon announces he has inoperable cancer of the pancreas
1991 Oakland A's stadium becomes 1st outdoor arena to ban smoking
1992 "Five Guys Named Moe" opens at Eugene O'Neill theater on Broadway
1992 After 151 years Britain's "Punch Magazine" final issue

---

Holidays
Note: Some Holidays are only applicable on a given "day of the week"

---

Religious Observances
Buddhist : Kambutsue, Buddha's birthday (Japan, Taiwan, Hawaii, Korea)
Christian : Feast of St Walter of Pontoise
RC : Commemoration of Our Lady of Good Counsel
Christian : Feast of St Dionysius of Corinth
Christian : Feast of St Perpetuus of tours
RC : Commemoration of St Julia Billiart, virgin
Ang : Commemoration of William Augustus Muhlenberg, priest

---

Religious History
1546 At its fourth session, the Council of Trent adopted Jerome's "Latin Vulgate" as the official Bible of the Roman Catholic Church. (Included in the Vulgate O.T. were the 15 apocryphal books which Protestants reject in their biblical canon.)
1730 Shearith Israel, first Jewish congregation organized in America, consecrated their synagogue in New York City.
1912 The American Theological Society was organized at Union Theological Seminary, in New York, for the purpose of discussing religious, theological and philosophical problems.
1945 German theologian and martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the night before he was hanged by the Nazis, said: 'This is the end - - for me the beginning' -- his last recorded words.
1988 Televangelist Jimmy Swaggert, 52, was defrocked by the Assemblies of God following the disclosure of his involvement with a prostitute. (Swaggert was ordered to stay off TV for a year, but had returned after only three months.)

---

Thought for the day :
"Behind every argument is someone`s ignorance."

[firewalk]

Good morning everyone (-:

thanks for the ping Diva (hope you have a nice day)

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

After work I have a Coast Guard Auxiliary training class from 7PM-9PM PST.
Have a great day and I'll see you all late tonight.

[MeekOneGOP]

Western Burqa?

[SAMWolf]

Two wishes


An American, a Dutchman, and a Frenchman were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a
smuggled crate of whiskey when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rushed in and
arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi
Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the
whiskey, they were all sentenced to death.

After many months and with the help of very good lawyers, however, they were
able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a
stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished,
and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after
receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you
one wish before your whipping."

The Dutchman, who was first in line for punishment, thought for a while and then
said:
"Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10
lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, he had to be
carried away, bleeding and crying with pain.

The Frenchman was next up. After watching the Dutchman in horror, he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only
take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led
away whimpering loudly (as they always do).

The American was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh
turned to him and said:
"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the
finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness," the American replied. "In
recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100
lashes."

Astonished, the Sheikh replied, "Not only are you an honorable man, you are also very brave. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second
wish, what is it to be?"

The American replied: "Tie the Frenchman to my back."