A&M wants to open new branch in Qatar

Houston Chronicle ^ | April 17, 2003 | DAVID GONZALEZ, NYT

[Cincinatus' Wife]

CORRECTION: Author - RON NISSIMOV, Houston Chronicle

[Cincinatus' Wife]

LOL - Go Aggies!

[Diddle E. Squat]

Why do Aggies hate M&Ms?


They're too hard to peel.

[Diddle E. Squat]

Two Aggies go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One Aggie turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other Aggie says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

[Diddle E. Squat]

There was an Aggie that was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
The Aggie wrote a note saying "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Aggie."
The Aggie then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Aggie checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Aggie opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, "How could one Aggie do this to another Aggie?"

[Diddle E. Squat]

Did you hear about the aggie that got locked out of his car?
He spent two hours trying to get his wife and kids out!

[Diddle E. Squat]

A Florida State student, a Kansas State student, and an Aggie had all
commited horrendous crimes and were going to be shot. The FSU guy was brought up and blindfolded. The general shouted, "Ready ....... aim..." and the FSU guy yelled, "Huricane!!," everybody ducked, and he ran away free.
Dismayed at losing their first prisioner, the guards brought up the KSU student with renewed vengence. They blindfolded him and the general commanded, "Ready......aim....." and the KSU guy shouted, "Tornado!!" and fearing for their lives, everybody ducked, and he ran away free.
Well, the Aggie has been watching all this and starts thinking, "They all yelled natural disasters and they got away, so I will too." So they brought him up and blinded folded him, the general shouted, "Ready ...... aim...." and the Aggie screamed, "Fire!!"

[Diddle E. Squat]

Two Longhorns and an Aggie decide to go to the desert. They each bring one thing.

The T-sip brings water so they don't dehydrate.

The second T-sip brings food so they don't starve to death.

The Aggie says, "I brought a car door so if it gets hot, I can just roll down the window!"

[Diddle E. Squat]

An Aggie, a Baylor Bear, and a Texas Longhorn need some money. So they decide to rob a bank.
They rob the bank and then hear the cops coming, so they hide in the woods.
The Baylor Bear climbs into a tree, and when the cops come by, he shakes the branches and makes bird noises. The cops think it's just some birds, so they go on.
The Longhorn climbs into a tree and shakes the branches, and the cops think it's a squirrel, so they go on.
The Aggie climbs into a tree. The cops hear some rustling and they say, "What was that?"
And the Aggie goes, " Moo! Mooo!"

[Diddle E. Squat]

How many Aggies did it take to unscrew a light bulb?


1,001. One to hold the bulb and 1,000 to turn the house.

[Diddle E. Squat]

An Aggie had just completed his studies and was awarded a BS Degree in mechanical engineering. He was immediately hired by the Texas highway department.

His job was to paint the yellow stripe down the middle of the highway. After three days, his boss called him in and advised him that he was no longer needed.

When the Aggie inquired as to the reason for his dismissal, the boss replied, "On your first day here, you painted three miles of stripe, which is good. On your second day, you painted two miles; not as good, but still acceptable. Today, you only painted one mile. This is too far below our standards."

The Aggie accepted the explanation, saying on his way out the door, "Well, alright, but I want you to know, it wasn't my fault. The paint can kept getting farther away."

[Diddle E. Squat]

How do you get a Texas A & M graduate off your front porch?


You pay for your pizza!

[Diddle E. Squat]

An Aggie went riding, and everything was going fine until the horse suddenly started bouncing out of control. He tried to hang on, but with a foot caught in the stirrup, he fell off head-first. With his head bouncing up and down, the horse didn't even slow down. And just as the Aggie was giving up hope and losing consciousness, a Kmart employee came out and unplugged it.

[Diddle E. Squat]

Two Aggies were pulling a large deer through the woods. They came across a longhorn and he said, "Really nice buck you got there, but I think if you pulled him by his horns it would be a lot better than dragging him by his hind legs."

The Aggies tried it and after a while one said "This sure is better. It's a lot smoother over the ground." The other said, "Yeah, but we sure a getting farther away from the truck."

[Diddle E. Squat]

A 2-seater plane crashed into a cemetery near College Station. The Aggie fire department uncovered 700 bodies.

[Cincinatus' Wife]

LOL - and to think so many Aggie grads are laughing all the way to the bank. You'll never meet a more loyal group of people. They set the standard.

[Diddle E. Squat]

Great school, great folks, hard workers, conservative, extremely loyal, more goofy traditions than any other school, but way too quick to draw their swords on SMU cheerleaders and the Rice band.

[Cincinatus' Wife]

Hopefully they will stay the same. LIBERALS are doing their best to bring TX A&M into their fold.