[Diddle E. Squat]

An Aggie had just completed his studies and was awarded a BS Degree in mechanical engineering. He was immediately hired by the Texas highway department.

His job was to paint the yellow stripe down the middle of the highway. After three days, his boss called him in and advised him that he was no longer needed.

When the Aggie inquired as to the reason for his dismissal, the boss replied, "On your first day here, you painted three miles of stripe, which is good. On your second day, you painted two miles; not as good, but still acceptable. Today, you only painted one mile. This is too far below our standards."

The Aggie accepted the explanation, saying on his way out the door, "Well, alright, but I want you to know, it wasn't my fault. The paint can kept getting farther away."

[Iwo Jima]

Did you hear the one about the Aggie who went to Harvard? He went up to the first guy he saw (someone wearing an Ascot named "Skippy"), and said in a Texas-friendly way "Say, there, feller, can you tell me where that there liberry's at?"

With a pained look on his face, Skippy replied in that clenched-jawed, WF Buckley type of voice "See here, my good man, when at Hah-vard, one does not end one's sentences with a proposition. Please try agaihn."

The Aggie shrugged and then said "Say, there, feller, can you tell me where that there liberry's at, A$$HOLE?"