[BunnySlippers]

I always say, "We're having a dinner party and we're all sitting down now. I can't talk" (click). If during the day I say, "I'm home sick from work and I'm soooo ill" (make sure you sound like you're running to the bathroom) .... (click).

I've not given a telemarketer more than 15 seconds in many years. Don't wait for them to reply, hang up.

[Sweet_Sunflower29]

Gee; you are nicer then me!

As the spiel-giver winds up to give-me-the-deal-of-the-century, I simply utter a curt "no thanks" and hang the phone up.

[Tennessee_Bob]

It all depends - if I'm eating, or leaving, I'll cut them off and say "Put me on your do not call list." If I'm sitting around bored, I'll do like I did one young woman who called. She introduced herself as Heidi and proceeded through her sales pitch. I never said yes or no - just "go on, go on." After a couple minutes, she said "Well, Mr. ####, what do you think?" To which I replied, "Heidi, I'm completely naked - what are you wearing?" I heard a click and silence.

[rickmichaels]

I remember seeing a movie in which a guy gets a call right in the middle of his dinner. The guy cuts off the telemarketer in mid-sentence and says, "Are you proud of yourself? Is this what you wanted to be when you were growing up?" then immediately hangs up. I spit my coke into my popcorn when I heard that.

[js1138]

I always say, "We do not receive solicitation calls. State law requires you to remove us from your list." Of course we don't answer calls that block caller-id.

[tubebender]

I had a call the other night trying to sell me Dish Network. (I had it at one time) After a couple of "I'm not interested" I finally blurted out that Sears was coming to repo my TV tomorrow because my my wife had run up huge depts at the casino. I did this in a almost sobbing voice and when he signed off he said he had a similar experience and he understood. I have many other sob stories to use when I have to...

[Kozak]

Here's what you do.
As soon as your realize it's a telemarketer you tell him,
"I really want to talk to but can you hang on one minute?"
Then you put the phone down and go about your buisiness till you hear the disconnect tones comming from the phone. With a little luck you tie the jerk up for a few minutes. Thats 5 or 6 people he didn't call.....

[goodnesswins]

When they ask for my husband....I tell them "He died." It works. They don't bother me again.....and my husband laughs.

[xm177e2]

I like to keep them on for as long as possible, and harass them as much as I can, before asking to be put on a Do Not Call list. It sure sucks to be them.

But they're on to people like me. They spam my phone now with automated recordings; there's no way I can tell them to put me on the list.

[1riot1ranger]

I have great sport with these guys. I tell them they need to speak to the lady of the house and hand the phone to my 5 year old daughter. She LOVES to talk on the phone. She can keep a solicitor tied up for twenty minutes telling them about her grandmother's house, the neighbor's cat, the tv commercial, etc. She usually brings me the phone when there is a dial tone.

[Skywalk]

There's a sure-fire way to eliminate tele-marketers without even talking to them.

As part of the auto-dialing, they are not connected to the phone line, so there is a pause.

Don't say "hello" so loud, just low volume. Any human on the line would respond immediately, but the auto-dialing machine doesn't register the lower volume and doesn't switch over.

I've had fun waiting on the phone while it waited to switch, then hearing "uh, hello??" and hanging up.

[ladyinred]

I don't even give them excuses. I just say "no thank you" and hang up. I don't owe them my time, they are intruding into our lives, and this is just the ugliest enterprise around!

[Tribune7]

The best techinque is my brother's. He gives the phone to his four-year-old and says talk to the man.

The child ends up asking him "Daddy, why did that man hang up?"

[honeygrl]

Our favorite thing to do is say "Well let me give the phone to the man of the house" Which of course they say OK to, and then hand the phone to our 2 year old and let him talk away. He loves talking on the phone.

[Junior]

I let my answering machine pick up. Everyone who knows me knows that if they start talking and I'm there I'll pick the phone up if I recognize who is calling. Otherwise, they talk to the machine.

[FourPeas]

If I have some time, I prefer to toy with them. I kept a guy on the phone for a full ten minutes a few days ago asking him questions about the security system he was offering to put in my home for "free". We already have one; Mr. FourPeas used to work in the security industry. I had him assuring me that he could send over a female technician, that their lawn sign was a "pretty color", and trying explain to me how it wasn't a privacy issue that they would put a microphone in the home so they could hear an intruder if the alarm went off. It was great fun. Of course, folding laundry *does* get boring sometimes.

Today while unloading the dishwasher, I toyed with a some foreign-sounding dude who wanted us to refinance with him. I had him repeating everything at least twice because he was hard to understand. I even got a lesson on equity from him after I played the stupid housewife.

My goal is to waste as much time of theirs as possible.