Obviously, what you don't know is allot..
To begin with I am quite happy with me, no "loathing" whatsoever. Also, I am not allowed to "hate" homosexuals as individuals for their sin. I do hate their activities and their agenda, however..
It's not "killing me inside" and further, they can reform. It happens. No problem.
However, what I can't do is endorce their activity and I refuse to grant them special status because of who they sleep with. That's illogical. I won't do it.
I also refuse to accept their agenda or any attempt at moral equivelance.
This is lost on you because you measure everyone by the ridiculous standard of how far they endorce your own self indulgent, destructive and immoral behavior.
BTW, you sound like a bitter, bitter man. Not very "gay" at all, IMO.
Obviously, what you don't know is allot..And yet I know all about you. Go figure. I only hope you can achieve some degree of peace with yourself.