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Another problem--by and large, the foreign men don't want the American women except as sexual novelties.

And that's not an underlying reason for men to go overseas?!?!?! Look, I find it absurd that men are going overseas for women to marry without a basis in love. This is nothing more than a modern day version of arranged marriages.

If an American man is assuming that all American women are feminist extremists, then I say there's something inherently wrong with the men, not the women. There are a lot of good American women out there, just as I know there are good American men- its just a matter of finding them (and I'm still looking!)

Exactly you're still looking. Weren't you the one who had a relationship end because the guy wanted to see more of you than you had time to allow for, what with your travelling and such?

Remember all the horror stories on here about men getting reamed in the family courts? Do you think that maybe they thought the found the right woman?

Why should a man keep trying over and over again? Maybe these guys are just playing the numbers game. The odds are in their favor.

I think it's a bit insulting to conflate MARRIAGE searches with sexual adventuring. In fact, it's stupid too. I distinctly made the point that they were not interested in American women except as sexual novelties. A man looking for a wife knows that there all kinds of freaks, of varying ethnicities, here in the US. That's not what he's looking for, though I don't doubt that some guys fall for the local girl they're shacking up with.

But beyond that, you got to the heart of the matter--love. It doesn't seem to do much. Seriously. I've heard way too many stories, seen way too much happen and experienced it myself. There has to be MORE than that. There has to be the understanding that love is more than a feeling, as Boston reminded us ;)

Arranged marriages these are not? You don't pick a photo and say "Send me her" Many of these men AND women go through dozens of prospective individuals and correspond for who-knows-how-long. Some of the women have access to email and IM programs and phone-over-net deals as well. Maybe not all or most, but it's becoming more common.

Also depends on how you define love and how it changes as people age. My first great love? Well I loved her really quickly. I felt and loved her femininity, her kindness, her tenderness within...weeks not months/years. Now, I'll be the first to say most of these guys are hoping to feel more love as the relationship continues--but it wouldn't be the first time--and it's not exclusive to these relationships.

It happened in America all the time. Hell, you weren't even supposed to have had any form of sex with the person before marriage.

Also, why should an accomplished guy who is mistreated or overlooked here in the States continue to bang his head against the wall? Really? My experience is not the experience of every man, I don't feel awkard about my looks or masculinity and am not made to feel that way. but I am every male.

More importantly, if my everyday conversations with women reveal anything, it's that many of the charges accusing them in the West of being histrionic/borderline disordered, materialistic, egotistical and emasculating are true.

The "good" ones may not be as much, but in the end are about as steadfast as sagebrush. They aren't bad people, but they are bad wives.