Zimbabwe -- Suspended For Not Being Allowed To Work

Zimbabwe Standard ^ | May 4, 2003 | overthetop By Brian Latham

[Clive]

THE mayor of a troubled central African country's capital city has been suspended for not being allowed to do his job. The surprising development came this week when a Zany politician decided he?d had enough of the More Drink Coming mayor.

After a year of depriving the mayor of the necessary tools to perform his duty, the Zany party decided the mayor should go for... not performing his duties.

In a policy most troubled central Africans said was deliberate, the Zany party ensured the More Drink Coming mayor had no foreign currency to import essential goods and no fuel to run his fleet of ageing vehicles.

So when essential items weren?t imported and the fleet of vehicles was grounded, the Zany party suspended him.

Still, the suspension caused some embarrassment to the Zany party

who forgot that the mayor of an important German city was visiting the More

Drink Coming mayor. Just as the two were sitting down for a small cocktail, a comrade from the Zany party summonsed the now angry and troubled central African mayor and handed him his suspension letter, which he was told to read at home.

The letter said he was being suspended for not delivering essential services to the city, including clean drinking water.

But Over The Top is reliably informed that the city's water crises have been caused by the Zany party's reluctance to provide essential foreign currency to buy water treatment chemicals.

The move follows a series of half-hearted demonstrations outside the mayor's city centre office. Zany party cadres bussed in from various places, have demanded the mayor be removed from office, despite his overwhelming popularity in the capital.

Meanwhile the suspension sparked angry condemnation from the rest of the More Drink Coming party who said Comrade Chump, who wrote the offending and offensive letter, had no right to suspend the mayor. Even the More Drink Coming party leader said the suspension was invalid.

The suspension also coincided with a visit by a group of confused southern African parliamentarians to the troubled central African dictatorship. Most of them said they were very happy with the way things were going in the troubled central African country and hoped to initiate similar policies in their own country just as soon as the rest of the world wasn't looking.

The confused southern Africans said they were here to study land reform, a political process that has seen dozens murdered and raped, hundreds tortured and thousands displaced in the troubled central African regime. Still, the confused southern African said they had spoken to several Zany party people who told them everything was going swimmingly and that was good enough for them. "We have much to learn from all this," they said, sparking fears in the confused southern African country that a similar bloodbath was about to be initiated.

Still, back in the troubled central African capital, angry residents prepared themselves for action to reinstate their mayor, whom they said was unjustly removed. And the German mayor, promising to provide help with solving the city's water problems, said that would only happen if a democratically elected mayor governed the troubled city.

The threat led to a certain amount of resigned shrugging of shoulders as residents of the troubled city said they expected their water problems to last for some considerable time.

Meanwhile unnamed political and economic analysts pointed out that the Zany party had in three short years managed to bankrupt the troubled central African nation, deprive it of once abundant food and lay waste to a once strong infrastructure. If they could do that to an entire country in just three years, they pointed out, it would probably take Comrade Chump about three weeks to ensure there was no water, no rubbish removal and in fact no services of any kind in the capital city.

[Clive]

"The suspension also coincided with a visit by a group of confused southern African parliamentarians to the troubled central African dictatorship. Most of them said they were very happy with the way things were going in the troubled central African country and hoped to initiate similar policies in their own country just as soon as the rest of the world wasn't looking."

[Clive]

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[Cincinatus' Wife]

Again, amazing.

btw, the "zany party." No kidding.