[Cacique]

This is what happens with the feminization of society and the breakdown of the traditional family. It is also a side-effect of the changing nature of our economy from a manufacturing one to a service economy where most of our good white collar and blue collar jobs are being exported. A generation ago we exported manufacturing. Women are cheaper to hire than men etc..

Call me a traditionalist, but I beleive that the man should be able to support the family and he should be the one working and earning. These changes do not augur well for our society.

[Cacique]

ping

[yonif]

I wonder what the effects of this will be.

[NFOShekky]

Webster's

"Gigolo" A man supported by a woman.

[luckodeirish]

I am seeing a scary trend amoung some colleagues, the "man" sits home (does not want to work, can't find work, etc), no kids, watches TV and hangs at the gym, while the woman goes to work. I am seeing more and more of this, where the man essentially "gives up" on being a breadwinner. Is this a result of the deballing of the American male, or are men getting downright lazy?

[NEWwoman]

Looking at the full article, it seems he lost his job and she was able to get work. Sounds like a good plan.

[ez]

I'll tell you a side effect. I was "house dad" for about two months earlier this year.

Women seem to me much more critical and likely to use a husbands unemployed status against him in an argument than a man. I would never dream of calling my wife lazy, or worthless, etc when she is not working, but she didn't hesitate to use it against me.

Fortunately, the situation has been resolved...

[Mannaggia l'America]

Women are cheaper to hire than men etc..

Not always. I don't deal with it any more, but when I worked at a small company, I saw the health insurance costs per employee. The monthly costs on a younger single woman was significantly higher than on a single man, I suppose due to the possibility of pregnancy.

Anyway, I don't have a huge problem with the reversal of roles on a temporary basis. When I was a kid, my dad was out of work for a while. He worked at a local factory and the head of the union local was a hothead (not just on union stuff either - I was friends with his sons). Like clockwork, every 3 or 4 years, they were out on strike - sometimes long strikes. (We even ended up on food stamps because of one of the strikes.)

Eventually, the company packed up and moved overseas. A lot of good all those strikes did...

This was at the end of the Carter years and coming across a new job was not so easy for someone his age with basically no skills. My mom already worked part time, so she switched to full time for a while until things got better and my dad stayed home. Once my dad got another decent job (about 2 years later), she went back to part time and eventually stopped working.

[AlbionGirl]

Would that there were more men like you. I'm not sure if it's by design or default, but men have taken full advantage of the free reign feminists have unwittingly provided them with.

'A whole lot of boys and not enough men'; believe it or not I saw this bumper sticker in Italy in '97.

[moyden2000]

Feminists have been peddling this dream for twenty years. Few women respect men who don't work.

[tdadams]

This reminds me of a post I was reading the other day (on a forum other than FR) from a guy who boasted several times about his $200K household income - what an affluent life he and his wife had, what nice cars, what nice vacations, what good investments they had.

Later in the same posting he admitted that his wife makes about four times as much as he does. I couldn't help but think his wife was a sucker and this guy was a mooch. She's going to wise up one day and dump him.

[Almondjoy]

I have no problem with you being a traditionalist. If you think a man should work and a woman should(stay at home, work as well) what have you.. that's fine. But I think the saying fits well here "whatever floats your boat". I'm sure you can give me cases where it's bad for the man to stay at home and for the woman to work... but we both know I could counter with a million reasons for just the opposite. A married couple should go with what works for them.....

[snopercod]

This is what happens with the feminization of society and the breakdown of the traditional family.

That's Bu%%$hit. This what happens when there are no engineering/manufacturing/construction jobs available - all traditional male bastions.

I've been out of work for almost eight months now, and my wife has been supporting us, bless her heart. So I do the cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc., as well as the odd jobs I can pick up. She says it's OK because I supported her for the first thirty years.

It has nothing to do with feminism or "the breakdown of the family", but everything to do with the fact that America has become a nation of symbol manipulators. People who actually know how do things are no longer necessary...for a while.

[kcvl]

Jonathan earned a six-figure salary as a lawyer at Napster, while Laurie worked leisurely hours as a fund-raising consultant. But last May Jonathan was laid off; he still can’t find work. So, reluctantly, Laurie has become the breadwinner. On a recent evening their son, Dylan, 5, skipped through their home in Oakland, Calif., praising how well his stay-at-home dad cares for him. But Dylan is the only one pleased with the turnabout. “This is not the life I wanted,” says Laurie, who’s heading off to an after-dinner meeting with clients. Meanwhile, Jonathan spends his days doing housework and preparing badly cooked dinners. “I hate it all,” he says.

[luckystarmom]

My brother has been the stay at home dad, and his wife has worked. He's suffered with skin cancer for 20 years. His cancer was so bad that he lost his ear, and we were lucky that it didn't go to his brain.

Anyway, instead of trying to work, he stayed at home with the kids.

His kids are now grown and doing well in college. His daughter was active in the Young Republicans group at her college, and my nephew just met Pres. Bush, Sr.

Anyway, it worked for them, and I think it is much better than a 2 parent working family.

[goodnesswins]

Ahem.....it depends upon what the "stay at home" does all day....if they sit on their arse and eat bon bons (or play video games, or go to the gym) it doesn't matter what sex they are....but, if they make a Household RUN, care for children, etc.....they are doing a JOB, folks....it's just not your typical role, no, but with the cost of DAYCARE, etc.....I can't say I would blame a couple for choosing to have the one making the most money be the "provider," especially if they WANT to.

[kcvl]

Peg Tyre
A former Newsday and CNN reporter, Tyre is a free-lance writer who covers criminal justice issues.


Daniel McGinn
became National Correspondent in August 1999 after serving as Detroit Bureau Chief since August 1997. A native of New Jersey, McGinn and his wife, an elementary school teacher, have a daughter. They live in suburban Boston.

[longtermmemmory]

that is an unacceptable lifestyle choice. This is the "beta"fication of men. Men who are Mr. Mom should be embarassed.

[HitmanLV]

I'm no scientist, but I do think that women who have to support their men look upon them as something less then men, and invariably leads to problems - sexual and otherwise.

[Petronski]

If it is to be a single-breadwinner household, then the spouse who can earn the most should be the one who works.

If the woman's profession pays 50k and the man's only 35k, the family is better off with 50k.

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

It would gall most husbands if their wife was making MORE money, some don't mind staying home and doing that job.