Heh.... Some of us just think it is pretty fascinating... You on the other hand, only worry about whether or not you are going to have to share something with a monkey.
If you guys would have read the article, it clearly does not say "Chimps Now to be Considered Humans". It just means that somewhere 5 million years back on the tree, there are branches close enough to consider them on the same Genus.... not the same species. We can't breed, let alone marry.... don't worry yourself about it.